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she's learning MB
#969415 01/12/02 12:02 PM
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 32
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hopeto
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hopeto
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Posts: 32
I am sitting here with my WS and I am introducing her to MB. I had posted a threaed earlier and I left it up and she read it. OOPS! Now she is interested and I am helping her register. She did read "His Needs/Her Needs" and she has read the basic concepts up to the Emotional Needs. Any advice?<p>Jeff
Re: she's learning MB
#969416 01/12/02 12:14 PM
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 980
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Estes49 Offline
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Estes49
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Let me be the first to welcome jeff's wife to MB. You are off to a good beginning by the reading you are doing. In order to get the greatest benefit from the boards it is important to be familiar with the basic concepts which you have begun to learn. Be sure to read Surviving an Affair by the Harleys. The explanations on how the BS feels after d-day and the painful feelings withdrawal the WS will have to work through are important. I'm glad you are here and am looking forward to your posts when you are ready.<p>Wishing you well,
Estes
Re: she's learning MB
#969417 01/13/02 01:00 AM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 563
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jeffers Offline
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I guess I get to be the second to welcome Jeff's W to the board. <p>Welcome!<p>As you can see I am also a 'Jeff'. I've also had the pleasure of welcoming my own "Jeff's W" to the board, she has promised to read things I write but so far has declined to participate.<p>I can only second Estes advice. The best thing you can do is to spend lots of time reading the information on the main web site. My own reaction when I found this place was "Wow, now I understand why our marriage is the way it is." We used to play a lot of tit-for-tat get-even type games with each other that didn't accomplish anything but destroy love. Neither of us really wanted that, we just didn't know any better.<p>I hope you find this site useful in your journey. Good Luck.<p>Jeffers
Re: she's learning MB
#969418 01/13/02 01:21 AM
Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 563
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jeffers Offline
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Thought I should add some specific advice.<p>Don't expect anything to happen quickly. Commit yourself to taking the time to understand what you want and how to get there. Don't make snap judgements. You may think you know what you want... give it a month and see if you still feel the same way.<p>As you follow the stories of people here you will notice that the time scales involved are a year or more. This applies both to people who have rebuilt their marriages AND to those who separate and divorce. There is no quick, easy path. Ultimately, this web site preaches a process, not a destination. <p>Jeffers

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