This step daughter issue is really getting out of hand. She called me after she went somewhere after school after talking to her dad, and I called him at work - and they transferred me to someone else's office and I asked him where he was at and he said "where did you call very very angrily", and I said "your work" - it doesn't sound like you are in your office and he went off about me accusing him and I hung up on him.... Now I talked to him on his cell phone to see if he was coming home as planned and it sounds like someone was in the truck. He said okay under his breath, and thanks.... I asked him who he was talking to - when he said thanks, and it was supposedly a car that was courteous, right after he said that he was stuck behind a train.... He was very very hostile for absolutely no reason both calls, and something is up.<P>With the tension in the home because of the SD, it isn't good at all.... Please read my other post! I'm a little bit scared to be here when he gets home.

Looks like time is almost up. I'll pray for now, please post later so we know you are ok!<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

My Thoughts and prayers to you TNT..<P>Strength and Love to guide you!!<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba<BR>

TNT<BR>Deep breaths okay?<BR>I had the blowup/meltdown thing last night.<BR>And I matched that pack of cigarettes.<BR>I think the escape you mentioned on your other thread is a good idea. It is kind of a self preservation. Can you get out for an hour or so? That can be so good for you.<BR>A weekend away just for you might be an even better thing. You can only do so much work on the family before you have to do something for you.<BR>This isn't good for you!!!!!<P>

I am praying for you too right now.<P>SHA

TNT- calm down, maybe you need to not be there when he comes home until you have calmed down some. Maybe he is up to something maybe he is just having a really bad day. You won't find out the truth if you go at him the minute you see him. Good Luck and I hope you are wrong and he did only have a bad day.

Tnt: How'd it go? Remember it's your CHOICE to "blowup". Go ahead if need be. Pass on it if you can do without it r it serves no purpose....<P>------------------<BR>Surely goodness andd mercy shall follow me all the days of my life... Be strong and of good courage. Be not afraid. For god is with you wherever you go.

He came home, and everything was fine for about 10 minutes. <P>He blew up, but he didn't throw anything or hit me, but his finger sure was waving around.<P>I'm okay - I've got a bag packed just in case.<P>Thank you for the prayers. I'm really not sure what to think or how to think right now.<P>You guys I mean it, thank you for the prayers. I'll come back later.

TNT<BR>Thank you for letting us know!!!!!!<BR>Really - you have to take care of yourself.<BR>I'm going to be home alone tonight ( not counting the kid) so I will be checking.

WS...please stand by, I'll check back when I can. We are worried about you!<P>Take care of yourself and your son.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13<p>[This message has been edited by Faith Hope Love (edited September 11, 1999).]

Still saying the prayers TNT!!<P>Talk to us when you can.....<P>Sending more Strength,<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

TNT,<BR> I'm praying for you. You've been so encouraging to me over the past few months, and I really appreciate it.<BR> However, I'm coming to believe that it's sometimes necessary to make a "believer" out of our spouses. Mine didn't think I would ever go any farther than "25 feet from the house." I think he knows differently now.<BR>I think they have to know that there is only so much we will take.<BR> Yes, I lovebusted--in response to his HUGE lovebuster. I got fed up and LEFT--something he didn't think I'd do. But, I think this only works when we know that our spouses really want to stay married, even though they're lying and cheating all the time.<BR> So, TNT, have you considered doing what I did? Packing up, hiding your vehicle, renting a car and, while disguising yourself, check out your H's activities while you're supposedly "gone"? I know it's really hard to work this deal when you've got kids at home, but there are times when you have to do drastic things to get through to these lunkheads.<BR> I've never had step-children, so I really don't know what you should do with that situation. I do know that your H isn't showing any respect for your opinions and wishes.<BR> {{{{{{{{{{TNT}}}}}}}}}}

hi tnt, Thinking about you and hoping all is okay. Have I missed something? I had no clue that you were also delaing with h being physical with you. Glad to read that you have a plan, are ready to leave if need be.<BR>You sure have a plate full right now...remodel, h's recent family deaths, sd's that have major life issues, and I think I missed a few more things? <BR>Try to keep things in perspective, do what you can to fix those things you are able, and ask for the patience to let others slide for now. Maybe be selfish for the day and do something that makes you feel good-makes you feel strong and renews your spirit. How bout a nice hike in the fall weather? I drive to a lake? Some quiet fishing with no bait? <BR>(((hugs)))<BR>

all right TnT,<BR> Post up , come on where are you ? We are all getting concerned about you.<BR>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{TnT}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

He's taking SD to work right now. Everything is okay for the now. I do think I need some quiet time for myself, and to think about things a little. <P>I know the cycle reached it's peak - and we are on the downslide. He can get physically abusive and definitely verbally abusive, but only verbally last night.<P>Thanks guys for your prayers. I really need prayers for wisdom! This year has really been hard. <P>God bless you all and me too!<BR>TNT

TNT, If your husband is physically abusive, you must leave. No two ways about it. Until he get's it fixed if he can. I din't know there was physical abuse. How did I miss that? Get the hell out of there!

I don't know how I missed that either - but you have GOT to take care of yourself. Keep us up on this - we all care about you.<P>Lori

TNT -<P>I'm still praying for you and am here with the others to help you with anything you need. <P>We are here for you - you're not alone, please remember that.<P>Hugs, Strength and Wisdom,<P>Sheba

A quick post...of concern and best wishes floating your way. I DO hope things settle down and your marriage works, if that's what you choose.<P>And a comment about the male ego. I can relate from what I've witnesses in my H--his is VERY strong (and delicate). He does NOT like to feel "whipped" by a woman. When you placed your call to your H's office, whoever transferred the call might have said something like "whoooey, your wife's calling and boy does she sound mad at you." Instant male ego shot? Then, if even by your tone, you accused him of not being alone in the truck. Maybe he was still recovering from embarrassment from the first call, and then the accusation topped it off. No, I'm not saying your H is justified in his abusive actions, I'm wondering WHY he acts this way. Heavy resentment?<P>Sweetpea's suggestion of renting a car and seeing for yourself what's happening is a good one. (Could you afford a private investigator?) It may solve unanswered questions of whether he's cheating or whether you've upset yourself into paranoia. It's easy to do when communication is not good.<P>------------------<BR>Laura<P>"I cannot care a little for you. I love you only just enough to love you all the way."~~Rod McKuen<BR>

lucks,<P>You probably are right. Maybe my voice sounded angry on the phone after talking to SD? I can tell you that my patience has hit it's level of FULL, concerning the SD. You could be very exactly right.<P>But I feel like a whipped puppy - and an angry bull at the same time. Abuse is never right, whether it emotional or physical.<P>Physical hasn't happened since he violently tore me out of the truck in front of the neighbors - when I got close to some evidence, in May.<P>My husband is a conflict avoider that uses emotional abuse to keep from communicating. If he perceives an attack - (from guilt or whatever) then he goes into the thinking mode of "A good offense is a good defense".<P>If he hurts me, I will put him in jail. We know someone who spent a week in jail last April. I have been the entire gammut with counseling with abuse, and know the signs, cycles - you name it. I do social work! And have driven many a women and her children to the women's shelter. I am the one who orientates new immigrants and refugees to the culture and laws in America - and letting them know about our abuse laws! Ha! Believe me I know about abuse.<P>It wasn't physical, but it hurts just as bad all the same. It has been physical in the past.<P>I'm going to check out Deb's thread - she and her auntie pooh have been very faithful to us all for prayers. And I believe in the power of prayer - I have seen some pretty miraculous answers in the past. Someday, I'll share some of that stuff on the board with you guys. <P>God Bless you all, and thank you so much for your concerns and prayers. It was kinda hard to get back to the site yesterday. I feel like it is "stolen moments."<P>TNT <p>[This message has been edited by trustntruth (edited September 12, 1999).]