Hi Guys. . .not only you guys, anyone who ever posted to me. Haven't been on for a while, been busy having my honeymoon period, which has now promptly come to an end.<p>WAT, I see that you've entered Plan B (last time I was on I knew you were considering it, just wouldn't say WHEN), and are waiting for D. Sorry Buddy. I think about you often, how's your shoelaces? Pretty clean I bet. . I still think that is one of the funniest things I have ever heard!!<p>Anyhow, guys, I moved, 4 states away, to be with him @ his new job. He is in so much conflict right now, wanting to run again. I still SWEAR he's in MLC (he just turned 30). He's so funky all the time. One day it's him saying "I'm so lucky to have you, you love me so much", the next day it's "You are too into me, I don't want a relationship, we moved you here too soon". GAAH. Someone (named lostva) once told me that recovery is tons worse than the affair & separation. She's right. But she also tells me that it's completely and totally worth it. I believe her. She is amazing. If I could be half of who she is. . . I'll be doing pretty well for myself.<p>You know what else?? I actually find myself thanking Jim (to his face), for the things that are happening to me. He pushes me, inspires me, to be a better person. I don't like the way he's doing it, but I do like the results in me. I am so much stronger b/c of this. And what does that say about me? He's causing it, but I'M DOING it. I'm doing it for me, it can be for both of us, his choice, but the fact remains that I'm DOING it.<p>To anyone who reads this. . . who is wishing for recovery-make sure you're ready, careful what you wish for. If you can imagine anything worse than the A, and all that goes along with that. . .you best get your thinking cap on, cuz, guess what. . it gets worse. But I know that it can be done, it sucks to be a BS, it sucks to be a BS, it sucks to be a BS. But, you won't be a BS forever. Just like Bush says. . . it's going to be a long, hard battle, we will not tire, we will not falter, we will not fail.<p>We will not fail.<p>I've missed you guys.

Bitsy -
so glad to hear you are doing so well. My recovery started over again in mid November! You are so right about the road to recovery - be prepared to change a few "blowouts" en route.<p>You sound very strong and grounded. Way to go.

Alberta,
Recovery started over again in Nov?? What's that mean. . .contact w/OW again?? Cuz I got that too right now a little bit, but know what? That's not even so much important to me right now. It's stupid I think, not stupid of him (although it really is), just stupid and not worth my getting upset about it. It really means nothing, nothing. Some people may not understand that. That's how he's dealing right now. And if I try to force the issue of how he's not allowed to talk to her, or anyone ain't gonna happen. I think that he's being really stupid right now, but, know what? Probably has been sometimes, (and probably will be again), where he thinks I'm being really stupid too.<p>I like that when you post to me you make my "B" in bitsy a capital letter. I think about that sometimes, why did I make it a lower case? Is it cuz of how I felt about me at the time I first posted? Funky, life is very funky.

BITSY - (how's that? - all caps!) or maybe bITSY?<p>Good to hear from you. I hear you loud and clear about recovery, but I don't think I'll need to suffer any more [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] . I hope the worst is over for you.<p>I vaguely remember the "shoelaces" thing - but what was it exactly? Whatever, I'm honored to have left a lasting memory.<p>So, where did you move? Close to D.C.? Want a couple of dogs? Thought about taking them for a walk today to find OM's car so they can poop on the hood, but I'm too busy. Need to change the air in my tires.<p>WAT

WAT,
Hey!! I'm in VA, about 2 and 1/2 hrs. from DC. No dogs, sorry. . .got enough on my plate right now dealing with "3" children!<p>The shoelace thing was you telling Rick to tell his W that he can't come to dinner (or something) because he's real busy, got to launder his shoelaces! I STILL laugh about that! Just like the air in the tires thing you just said. . .funny! How's Rick anyhow? When I was last on here I don't think he was around much, do you still talk to him? Tell him I asked, ok?<p>You sound like you're doing pretty well in the face of everything too. I hope so. Right now, I'm working on how I believe, it's supposed to bubble out of me. And I'm working on ignoring all the things that he says when he gets scared or angry. . .like when your kid says that they hate you. Sigh. It'll be ok though. Good to hear from you!!

Hi bitz - Rick37 still shows up from time to time. Don't be surprised if he answers your post - assuming he will, I'll not answer for him.<p>Hmmmmm - about 2 1/2 hours away? That would put you further than Richmond and Harrisonburg, huh? I grew up in Richmond and lived in Va. Beach for almost 10 years after college.<p>Best regards,
Dave