I am trying so hard to LB and to not "control" the situation...but I am having a hard time!<p>My WH and I have been talking so much, and he truly has been opening up. We are moving forward nicely, but at least once a day I feel the need to throw what he did in his face for an ego boost or something...like it makes me feel like I am the one in control. (I know, very bad.) I also know that this major LB (I think I am a major judgmental statement person) is what eventually led to our current situation (coupled with WH's inability to be honest and communicate because he is afraid to rock the boat). We discovered this weekend that basically we were attracted to eachother 10 years ago because he needed someone to take charge and "lead him" and I needed someone to control and let me think I was getting to do whatever I want. Nice huh? Of course our relationship is just not that anymore, but it lingers....now WH realizes that he has to grow up and I realize that I can't control everything and be in charge of everything....but I can't seem to help myself and feel like even though I didn't have the A, I am no better than him for being selfish, manipulative, controlling, etc....<p>We still have fun together (when I "let" us [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] ), the physical intimacy is wonderful, attraction is definately there, but the emotion intimacy is struggling. How do I get over this need for control. I know I'm supposed to, but don't know how to do it. How do I "let go" and just live? This happened with my S when he was born too...I did so much research and found every case scenario for his diagnosis and planned everything out nomatter what the future might be. I know that is sick, but I really need help in learning how to let go...I will be getting individual counselling (as will my WH) along with MC.<p>Thanks.<p>[ January 14, 2002: Message edited by: weRtrying ]</p>