Audrey has the same dilemma as we do. The OW in her life is due 8-16.

I just couldn't let this go, I wanted to see how everyone is doing. I haven't posted in a week but have thought of you all often.<P>My H's OW is out on maturnity leave and calls me H at work to tell him how the baby is doing (gag!!). We will be divorced next Monday and oddly enough seem to be turning into friends. We meet for lunch a couple times a week and he teels me what is going on with him. I miss him still at times, at other times I just feel sorry for him and other times still get angry but overall I am getting over him and a part of me finds that sad.

Smith,<BR>So good to hear from you It sounds like you are doing well. I keep coming back too, though I get little out of the board anymore myself nowadays. Will have to let it go one of these days.<P>I'm currently reading "The Art of Happiness" by Dalia Lama and some American psychiatrist. Has interesting perspective on relationships as well as on negative feelings like hatred and anger... Basically advises we do whatever will ultimately increase our happiness (that's happiness-- as opposed to pleasure. What is pleasurable, such as affairs, is not acceptable if they do not lead to our happiness!)

Jenny,<BR>Sounds like a book I need to read. I am posting a new thread, take a look, you want believe!

Men...shees, they break our heart but we still think we need them. <BR>we must be a weaker sex or somthing.<BR>I have to go, I am not dealing well with all this just now

Bringing this to the top for LynnAK01. Sorry to bring this tired old post to the forefront but I hope it helps. Thanks for understanding.

I am so happy to run across this site and see that I'm not alone and their is help from others available. I found out a year ago that my H had an affair with his coworker, her H called to tell me. 2 months later I find out through the OW H that their little girl is not his through a bloodtest. Their little girl and my little boy are only 4 months apart. My H has stayed in the marriage but I don't know if he has seen the OC. He says and she said that he has not but wants to. OW said she has not decided what role she wants my H to play in the OC life. I'm so hurt, angry and feel cheated especially for the children. My H says he does not have any contact but I have found her number on his cellphone and now he hides his cellphone and changed the phone bill so that the details of calls are not listed. I now want to put him out. I feel like he is still lying and cheating and having a secret life with his other family. THe OW has left her H and lives with her father. Any further suggestions, advice, encouragement is really needed right now. Even though it has been a year it feels like yesterday. thanks

HOWGLO: I am so sorry you are here. Please call on any of us to help you get through this. Unfortunanely there are about five or six of us in a forum within this forum.<BR>The OW should not have the option to decide where your H "fits" into her life with the OC. If you look up some of our earlier posts, you'll see that many agree that the OW and your H should have absolutely NO CONTACT with each other on any level, that any communication and arrangements should be through YOU and only you. you'll also see that the priest at Retrouvaille (a marriage encounter group) says that in situations like this the marriage MUST and SHOULD come first and foremost and if the Betrayed Spouse is threatened in any way with any involvement with the OC, the H should honor his wishes and put his own "desires and feelings" aside (because it was his fault, his doing, he should be the one to acquiesce to your wiahes regardless of what he feels) for the betterment of your family and you. You and yours COME FIRST.<BR>Please post and get to know Audrey and Daycare Disaster and Jenny. i realize I take a real hard edge on this and my anger sometimes gets in the way, but I have had to do this to survive this. I vent ALL my anget here so I can be loving and calm and kind to my H. And it works. God bless, take care. I'll be storming the heavens for you.