I was just thinking, while this board is amazing because everything said stays here for people to read and learn from, wouldn't it also be neat to have a "live chat" area on the page for people having a tough moment or time and want someone to talk to? It could be like an ICQ chat kind of thing. Just a thought...

Hi! I agree 100%. I think a chat room would be helpful for those times when we just don't have anyone to talk to and we just need to talk. I did read somewhere though on this site, which does make sense, is that you can not control who goes into a chat room. It could be more harm then good. But, it is a nice idea. Another suggestion, may be to get those that have like situations to get together and form a 'chat group therapy session'. Maybe that would work. I know you can set them up so there by appt only which means only those we want to chat can chat.

this topic comes up every couple of months....<p>there is no chat room because there are far too many marriages that are vulnerable to chat room relationships.<p>Its one thing to talk to a group of mixed gender people about our marriages...its something else to strike up a personal conversation with a member of the opposite sex, especially amongst many of us who are pretty much ripe for an affair ourselves.<p>Obviously people do communicate via email/chat/im outside of MBs, but I do believe it is the official position (and I agree with them) that the Harleys don't want to provide an atmosphere that would put any of our emotionally vulnerable members at risk in an environment that mgiht encourage inappropriate relationships.<p>It happens. MB hasn't exactly been free of affairs that developed from these boards. But the Harleys cant do anything about that except discourage activities that might harm our marriages.

A message thread can almost act that fast sometimes, but also leaves a trail of accountability as to who posted.<p>I believe MB doesn't sponsor a chat room because many of the posters are vulnerable, even the posters in recovery aren't generally posting with their partners...POJA. We all know the dangers of "connecting" with someone who isn't our spouse. There have been relationships, and even new marriages as a result of posters meeting on MB.<p>EVen here on "safe" MB where the majority of the posters want their marriage to succeed, you have to use safeguards when communicating on a revealing level to persons of the opposite sex.<p>Yet...there have been times of an ICQ chats being set up, or aol IMs/chats.<p>I feel like that old cop show where they say "Be careful out there."

I agree with Lor & BrambleRose, we are usually very quick and response out as an emergency ... see nikko thread yesterday. Also the chat is vonurable to people like soulmate11, javlin and many others w/ ill intentions. The downside is outweight the upside.

Thanks all, I didn't think I would have been the first one to suggest such a thing =) Your reasons definately make sense.
THOUGH, always thinking... how about a online MB counselor for "simple" questions or encouragement? Free would be nice, but maybe could pay a small fee a month or something to help support MB and the MB counselor could be on from a set time and if not a chat maybe limiting it to one person at a time? ok well.. maybe thats what the phone counsling is for =)
Ah well<p>[ January 16, 2002: Message edited by: HangingIn ]</p>

There are the dangers mentioned above by some very wise people. However, any of those things can happen whether by chat or simply talking about personal feelings with a friend of the opposite sex.<p> There are a number of us here that do get together and chat via ICQ. The best thing I have found is that the answers are there for you in real time. When you are having a really hard time you can get on and be lifted up by friends who are in the same situation as you. <p> Now I will admit that I have slowed down on the chatting not due to some sort of online affair, but rather, I was spending too much time with friends online and not enough Plan Aing or talking with WS. <p> I tell EVERYONE up front that if my wife EVER says she would prefer I not talk to people online(even by email), or if she decides to recommit to marriage, I will stop on the spot.<p> So far that hasn't happened. I have slowed down some none the less.<p> ICQ # 138020284<p> If you can catch me on I will be happy to talk with you.<p> jd<p>[ January 16, 2002: Message edited by: jdmac1 ]</p>