On monday, my H told me that it was not going to work, he was not willing to give up his friendship with OW and as soon as he had money would file for divorce. I continued to Plan A.<p>The next day, yesterday, he did a complete turnaround. Came clean with everything that he had done and was feeling guilty about, told me that he definitely wanted to give it a shot and even asked me to move back in because he felt that it would not work if we were not living as H and W.<p>I want to go home more than anything right now, but am not sure what to do, I am scared, excited and nervous at the same time. I am completely thrilled with the fact that he is finally being honest, but still do not want to get my hopes up. [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

Emerald, are you prepared to move back in only to find out that he changes his mind yet again the next day? And have to move again? I would suggest slowing down and letting him CONVINCE you of his committment. Someone doesn't just magically develop a real committment overnight. <p>Is it possible that the OW ended the relationship with him, spurring this quick change of mind? If that is the case, then he is not asking you to come back as a matter of his committment to recovery. And you need to see some DEMONSTRATED evidence of his committment to you and to the recovery of your M. <p>And why are you the one doing the moving here? Where are you living? What is the situation on that and where is your 3 year old?

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>*status: short-lived attempts on H's part for reconcilliation<hr></blockquote><p>Is this just another repeat performance of a vacillating fence sitter?

<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: MMMMM ]</p>

I am not familiar with your situation but I will tell you what worked for me.<p>When my MLC H finally woke up after 16 months separation (I had implemented some really radical 180's), I made him wait 2 months before I told him he could give 30-day notice at his apt and come home (meanwhile, he pursued me like crazy trying to convince me that I should get back together with him--he was the ULTIMATE romantic--didn't know he had it in him, LOL).<p>I think if you let them come back too soon it is likely not to last. Make him WORK for it and he will appreciate you more. Take your time so you won't have to go thru this mess again.<p>Carol<p>Synopsis:<p>Married 21 yrs.
H left at 19 yrs. Separated 1 1/2 yr.
Hated me intensely, wanted divorce.
Within 1 month, he was "confused, didn't know WHAT he wanted".
Limbo continued.
Young EA involved.
He is or more like WAS passive-aggressive (he has changed now).
At 16 month separation, I implemented radical 180's.
He woke up; begged & pleaded with ME to take him back. I acted unsure.
Made him wait, then let him come back.
We have a NEW relationship; VERY wonderful; he has been back 7 months now. We had a poor marriage before, now it is everything I could want.