I'm at the edge. Saw H for two minutes yesterday. Angrier than ever. Maintained my composure until he left but broke down afterwards. Couldn't sleep and suddenly, the panic started. <p>It's been five years since my big ordeal with panic.<p>I thought it was over.

GET TO YOUR DOC.

My doctor gave me buspar, it really worked and didn't take too long. Still wasn't normal, but was able to function.

T-<p>Please, please, please go see your doctor. Panic attacks are nothing to mess around with. If not for your own sake (you should because this is part of Plan A), do it for your kids sake. They need you to be healthy more than ever right now. <p>I would recommend taking a break from all of this, is there somewhere you can go for a few days (remember the hotel idea?), even in the next town or city. I heard on the radio that there is a web site that will find and guarantee the lowest hotel rates in any city, wish I could remember the address.<p>We are all here for you, but we can't make you take that all important first step, it has to come from inside you.

Yes, Buspar is good and it's non-habit forming, but Terrified, if you can't get a Doc appointment, you can get Calmeze over the counter, it'a a natural anti-anxiety med.<p>I use to suffer horrific panic and anxiety attacks, and I took Calmeze for a term until I got an appt. with my physician.<p>Another very good tip that my therapist taught me is to stand with your legs apart, knees slighty bent and continually scrunch your toes in the carpet. Sounds funky but it does help.<p>Jo<p>[ January 16, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Elad:
<strong>http://www.180096hotel.com</strong><hr></blockquote><p>ELad???? What is that URL, it takes you to a Hotel site ..... was that a whoooops?<p>Jo

i think elad was sending you on vacation!!!<p>a get away from it all kind of suggestion<p>4-4-8<p>when it starts for me i use 4-4-8 and its help a ton!!<p>4 second breath in<p>hold that breath for 4 seconds<p>exhale for 8 seconds<p>use your own count fast slow what ever you cant do it wrong, and you can do it right infront of everyone you get to concentrate on the count dim the immediate environment for a little and the oxygen +calmness of the exercise brings me right back to a place i can a. make better decisions b. jump back into the conversation c. defend myself without sounding like ive lost my freaking mind!!<p>as you get better at it you can envision good energy or positive things entering your body on the inhale and the spread of that energy on the hold, and the blackness of the bad on the exhale... and i not a big meditation / new wave spiritulist kind of person it just works thats all i can tell you.

T -- please remember that his anger is directed mostly at himself (although he likes to point the finger your way)
He's angry at the way his life is going, he's angry about the reaction he's getting, he's probably angry for a lot of reasons.<p>But just remember you are doing the right things -- you are living your life the right way. He's not, and that causes a lot of anxiety and depression. Maybe that is manifesting itself as anger right now.<p>You need to focus on YOURSELF -- stop reacting off of him -- he's angry so you're panicing. You have to stop. Calm yourself, and USE MEDS. Get to your doc and get anti-deps. Focus on making yourself and your daughter feel good. Your poor little girl needs a parent thats in control of themselves (and right now it doesn't sound like EITHER you or H are handling this at all well)

T,<p>By Gerry Spence:<p>"Anger is a gift. With someone less valuable the other's anger would be withheld"<p>I experienced panic attacks few years ago, before I met my H. The trigger was my parents passing away.It lasted about 6 months, and I never saw a doc or took any medication. I changed my life. Booked a ticket to the other side of the world(still here!), and stopped doing all the distructive things which obviously led into a chaotic life. The attacks stopped.
I know it's not that simple to pack your bag and go, if you got a child and a job. But you can start making changes little by little. First ask yourself what's causing you to have a panicky feeling? Can things be done differently? It comes down to your own choice. If you don't see your H (plan B)you will miss him terribly. If you see him, it affects your health and you feel terrible. Make a choice, and try to see yourself 6 months down the road... <p>I'm not on prescripition anti depressants. I have been taking St.John's Wort with added herbs like Passiflora(nerve soothing) for a week now, and I can tell it's working.<p>Take care.

{{{{{ Terri }}}}}
Are you OK?
Sounds like you are getting good advice.<p>I paticulaarily liked what Lexxxy said -- Way to go Lex!<p>I agree that much of his anger is about him & you have been his outlet or scape goat --- I don't know of course, but I wonder if he may the kind of person who just cannot accept any critisum or setbacks & when there are problems, just cannot accept the responsibility that it might just rest squarely on their shoulders.<p>Terri,
Lets us know how your are doing as soon as you can!
Prayers are with you!
HH

Terrified - I have had bad panic attacks in the past. The affair started them back at a high magnitude. I had to get nerve pills with my Dr. and also anti-depressants, still have some panic attacks but not as severe. You know you will not die from panic attacks, but the one thing I have read, is that with panic attacks your heart takes its toll, even your arteries can. So I know now that I have put a big burden on my body with the attacks. I try to calm down, and with the attacks that started, through a group counseling source I forced myself into the situation that started the attacks. It worked. I was able to sustain a semi-normal life. But I can't force myself into being BS and finding out for the first time of my H sexual affair. This is all so different, and it is hard dealing with. Am getting with a counselor for help, feel I need it, am not getting better just by being here. <p>Your attacks are normal, and some get the attacks and some don't. God made us all different. My H with my first attacks didn't understand my panic attacks, he said it was all mental and move on. That is where I went and found help, and was able to get the positive feedback needed. That is why I am looking, have actually found a group now, that seems to help with the situations I am dealing with. My father died Jan 2 2002 and I am dealing with the loss of my friend, my father too.<p>Get medical help, and go on medication. It will only be for awhile, and then you can regain your life back. You are not a bad person, you are only reacting to stress in the way God created you. I will pray for your success in conquering your panic attacks. They are very uncomfortable and hard to deal with. Keep in touch.

The panic attacks have been awful for me! I'm a nurse, and when they started I knew exactly what was happening. Yet, I tried to fight them off because I thought if I look anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants, I was weak! I stopped eating, lost a huge amount of weight, could barely sleep, and lived in fear of when and where the next attack might occur. Finally a good friend, set me down and convinced me that had two options at this point - go see my doctor and get the meds I needed to handle this, or - live in constant fear of when and where the next attack might occur. I took her advise! I saw my doctor, and I now take xanax as needed for the panic attacks (I can feel them coming on!) and celexa for depression. I'm doing much better now in all levals of my life! With my huband, my family, my job, and my co-workers! I hope you get the help you need so that you can "take back your life" and start making rational decisions not based in anxiety and depression. Take care of yourself!

Terrified, Hi. Sorry to hear you are suffering panic attacks. Please be reassured, i too began to suffer them after my my life went into chaos, with no past history. I didn't go on medication, just tried relaxation techniques, but they freaked me out at the time. 6 months later, when i made some pivotal decisions and took control of my life rather than allowing him to control it, they went away almost overnight, and have never returned. (that was 18 months ago). I believe it is a warning sign from our bodies that we are overloaded - once we relieve ourselves of some of the emotional burden, we can function again. That has been my experience anyway.
Take care

I was responding to loveherstill reference to a hotel website...<p>he suggested a getaway somewhere and that there was asite that guaranteed th elowest hotel rates...<p>E