Thanks for bumping this thread!

Hey Carol could you give me the name of your coach please. Glenn in Santa Fe

greaternm@hotmail.com

Hi Carol,

You've inspired all of us here and in a way I feel that just when I am distancing myself away from the WS he keeps begging me not to throw away our 5 years. I think sometimes that reverse psychology does work for some. I still do Plan A full time and also banks on "jealousy tactics" for him to feel insecure and not just think that I will always be available and forgiving whatever happens. I make him feel that there are a 1000 men out there who will grab me once he lets go so he's on his toes.
Thanks for a beautiful success story! God bless!
BF

BF, thanks for nice comments. Frankly it seems like a dream now. H has been home almost 3 yrs.

Glenn, sorry, coach moved out of state several yrs ago and I don't have his contact info. You might try getting Divorce Remedy and Divorce Busting by Michele Weiner-Davis and implementing some of those ideas. I also used the HNHN book, Dobson's Tough Love book, and a host of others for ideas.

I posted my story in the hopes that it might help others, and give them some ideas of what worked for me.

Carol

As a former WS I smiled when I read your story as it realising that my husband was interested in others that made me come back. I moved out and we would message on teh internet regularly. One day my daughter and I were chatting online and she told me that her dad was out "with some woman who asked him". It was actually a lie on her part but made me feel physically sick and was the beginning of my return. When I realised that I truly ran teh risk of losing him and that he wasnt going to wait forever in teh wings, was my wake up call.

Now its me persuing him, as he has other interests.... Thanks for your inspiring story Carol !

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Bump for Whitefeather...

^^^Bump^^^ Very interesting reading.....

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bump for Shelly

Hi everyone, just an update. I don't haunt the boards like I did 5 yrs ago, but I do read on occasion.

Today is our 25th anniversary, and hubby and I were discussing the fact it was a miracle we made it to 25. When I think back on the events of our 20th anniversary I shudder. Hubby and I were separated, him living 30 miles away, and even tho we had so much interaction, and were even lovers, he chose to ignore the occasion. I remember how devastated I was, but I didn't let him know that of course. I just continued on my course of action.

In the thread above, it is all documented. I contributed to this thread for one main reason--to give hope to those in seemingly "impossible" situations. It only takes ONE person to facilitate changes. With some guidance, I changed, which in turn caused my hubby to change. If what you are doing isn't working, try something NEW, just mix it up and be totally unpredictable. If you just keep up with the same old thing, nothing is going to change at all. Be creative in your thinking and what you do!

Hubby has been back over 4 years now, and it seems like a distant dream that he was ever gone.

Everyone hang in there--there truly are some success stories if you stay the course!

Carol

hello carol..

happy anniversary to you and hubby!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

and many many more..

ARK

Just wanted to bump up this happy beginning. Story starts on page 1 of post. Kind of makes me feel like maybe its worth it afterall.

Love this post....start on page 1 its amazing!!!

She lives right over here by me. A Texan! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Bumped for DLK21

Texan!! Figures. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Hi Carol,

Just wanted to say happy anniversary and that I love your story and how you took the imitative to change and take back some control. Am new here, just joined this week. Just learned 2 ½ months ago( 3 wks before our 21st wedding anniversary) about WH and A, had known something was up as he asked for separation in April. Have since found he put a woman up in condo in city 2 hours away. WH had already given up OW first week in August, but my discovery of--his horror of caused him to have a mental and physical collapse. He is now in total withdrawal and denial of A with a “memory loss” so we have a lot of unresolved issues, you might say, still to deal with and a road ahead of us. During our separation I tried to change to find a way out of the misery of and as time wore on I began to show less interest and care of whether or not he was coming home. I was still hopeless enough not to consider this affect on WH, but looking back now I can see that this must have garnered his interest again. Anyrate, love your story and plan to print out. May end up implementing some of the things U used. WH seems intent on going back to where we were before the A–IE he wants the “girl” without a mind of her own back who would go along to get along and that ain’t going to happen. Can see now our relationship has not been unhealthy for years. Anyrate I am game to use whatever methods needed to get him to get involved in the recovery process so that we can find a better place for both of us and found many of your ideas have great potential.

Consider yourself hugged,

I loved this story! Bumped up for Shattered 05. Start on page 1 of this thread..its amazing. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

bumped for shattered 05