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Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 1999
Posts: 17 |
My H came home last night after a previous evening blowout we had, and last night we had a very healthy 3 hour talk. So many things were said that needed to be. Not so much hurtful things and just things that are gradually destroying both of our love banks for one another. I know like any mature person I share a good percentage of blame for our problems. Which I always seem to carry the burden of that blame. But last I was actually able to share my honest frustrations about his controlling behavior and his need to always correct me, both socially and privately. And ironically he is often times wrong but I let it go to avoid continual confrontations. Unfortunately this puts a person into a state of numbness after a while. My H is a very strong self made man as he calls it but I am trying to make him understand that this is not neccessarily how you manage personal relationships, just business. I love his strength but hate his calous. He was truly shocked by this and was almost speechless. I by no means beat him up but I certainly gave him a reality check. I also explained to him very clearly this is not healthy living and if we cannot work through this for myself and my kids I will have to move on. We later sat in front of the TV waiting to hear our winning lottery numbers (we wish) and talked like kids. We then went to bed and made love like we were truly in love. I know he's a good man and we have a beautiful life together, but I have to stand my sanity ground. He ironically told me that he perceived me as weak and emotionally dependant on him. I had to make it clear to him I am no means dependant on him emotionally but rather very frustrated and lacking normal healthy basic emotional needs from him. I am amazed that he finds the need for good communication etc. as being emotionally week.
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