First a little background. Me and my W were highschool sweethearts. Started dating in 1987, moved in together in 92 married in 96 and have never had any major issues with O people. <p>In november I started finding receipts, repititous cell phone calls to a # that I didn't know, and other items that led me to believe she may be having an affair. After enough research and enough pushing she finally admitted she had feelings for a person she met through her job. He lives in another town about 150 miles from our home, but I know she has gone to see him on several weekends and refuses to cut it off with him. She used to never travel at work but since she met this guy, she has been out of town over and over. She contends it is only emotional but I think it has been more than that and she just dosen't want to hurt me and let me know that it has been more than that.<p>The issue I am having such a problem with, is that she hasn't outright left me. She still comes around, tells me she loves me and that she can't just let me go, but she is unwilling to move back home and says she dosen't know if she still wants to be married. I tried plan A for 2 months now and it dosen't seem to change anything. She seems to appreciate my kindness and the changes I have made in myself but I don't see any real changes on her part.<p>I have LB'd over and over during this Plan A, it is so hard not to do when the person that means everything to you drives the stake in your heart and then tells you they still love you, and then turns around and drives the stake in again with a comment like, "I don't know if I love you like a husband, I feel more like your my brother". I know this is part of the fog but it is killing me.<p>I normally weigh about 160, and I have lost 24 pounds in the last 2 months. Over the last few days however I feel I have found some solace in separating myself from her emotionally. I have been able to sleep and eat 3 squares again, but I don't want to loose her. I have found that ending the marriage in my own mind is the only thing that seems to bring me any comfort. I would just like some input from you guys on whether I would be doing the right thing, to try to let her go even though I am still hopelesly in love with her. I don't think a plan B will work for me because we are both financially independent, we have no children and she has already been out of the house since I discovered the affair. I am falling apart on the inside because my heart yearns for her but the only comfort I find is in letting her go. <p>There is one bright spot, or atleast it may be bright, (every time I see light at the end of the tunnel, it turns out to be a train) I tried to get her to go to MC with me and she refused, but yesterday she went to a counselor herself. She tells me she has to clear up issues with herself before she can work on her marriage. I just hope this counselor prescribes to the principle espoused by the Harley's. Im worried she may be being counseled by one of these new age folks that says "if youre not happy, you should leave".<p>Anyway, I know Im rambling, but Im sure all you broken hearts have some advice. I hope so anyway.