Well Boppo57 here saying that I am having a good day. Why, you say? Maybe because I haven't communicated with WW much, or obsessed about what she's doing, entire day. Also, she sent me loving e-mails this morning and reached over and held me at 2 am last nite as I quietly sobbed.
See the Just Found Out forum for more details (good news).<p>My pain is coming and going now. One thing that hurts-I was at lunch with a crowd and they were all talking about spouses and family stuff and I got depressed, and felt left out. So I silently prayed for strength and could feel the angels lifting me by the shoulders. I stopped slumping in my seat, got thru it, and then we were talking about movies and sports and it was cool.<p>Tonight, I will pray for strength before I get home and then make sure no LB's and no pleading, desperate I love u's. Also, no snooping tonite. If I were to get caught, it would be major LB. I'm 42 days from D-Day and, based on new evidence I found today (AOL records) it looks like internet A started mid-sept. So this whole freaking thing was only going 3 months when it was discovered. That helps.<p>But my WW is still fogged big time. Now I think she is beginnig to consider the ruin she will bring on kids and I. But she is also being fed the Love gobbledegook by OM with 8-9 e-mails a day. (BTW-she sends one day and yesterday she ended an IM session with OM by saying she had to iron-when really her and I did all the ironing the nite before). She thus is being truthful when she says she is hardly talking to OM. I guess, but as Cali says, don't believe or assume anything. <p>Thanks you all for your awesome suport. I continue to trudddddggggge the happy road to destiny. And pray for deliverance from this nightmare.<p>I love you all on this lifeline of a website.<p>God Bless.

I'm replying to my own note because I don't know how to "bump it up". Anyway, I said in my original post that there would be no snooping last nite. But snooping is like an addiction! I want to see evidence that things are getting better, but mixed in with that are "crushing blows". <p>Can a person love 2 people at once, with all their heart? I didn't think it was possible. Sometimes my head tells me my wife is just a no-good lying cheat--manipulating both me and OM. That I'm better off w/o her. But then I remember the night I spent in prayer right after D-Day when God assured me this woman was my heart's desire and I needed to do everything possible to resore her to a place of honor in my life. Eph 5:28 reminded me that I must love my wife as I love myself, since we are one. <p>And SAA taught me that if I practice Plan A either my marraige will be resored, or it will be easier to deal with the breakup. I actually shared that with my wife and she said that I shouldn't be talking that way - about a breakup.<p>I just re-read all correspondence I have between WW and OM and I realized that NOT ONCEdoes WW ever mention anything about a future with OM. It's all about her feelings for him, her wanting to see him, etc. He talks about buying a house, spending future holidays with her, having her meet his kids, etc. But she never mentions that stuff. <p>I don't kno what any of this means, but I could use your combined wisdom to help explain.<p>Thanks.