My H has ALWAYS told me that he is not satisfied with the amount of sex that he receives. H has admitted to not being able to control his desires and sometimes does not really care how I feel (if I am tired or not in the mood). I have found this out by approaching him the next day and stating that I was disappointed with what took place the night before. I never yell or scream. That is his department. One thing that my mom told me is to run the marriage like a business. Two partners in the business, right? Both have to put in their share. One might have strengths; one might have weaknesses, but it is both of your "jobs/duty" to recognize what these are and make the business succeed. She said that having sex with your "business partner" would only confuse matters. Especially when things were are not going good; you get all confused with what you are feeling. You know what the business needs but you do not want to hurt the other partner?? Well, I have thought about this. Not sure if I agree. <p>I have asked this question because I read on another reply about avoiding sex. The scenario was a little different, but in the same breath, my H (the BS) has told me many times over the 8.5 years, that he would consider leaving me due to the lack of it. I would never leave him because of that. I tell him, "If you were in an accident and paralyzed..(knock on wood) and unable to perform, I would still be here". I have always considered the amount/frequency my "fault" because of his statement. I am the only one who has ever said no. I say to myself..."How come you do not want to? You love him; he is your husband; what is the hold-up?" I did not want to make love to someone who is stoned or drunk. And he knows this.<p>What is your opinion in the "sex" category now in seperation. For me, I have always considered sex to be an "added bonus" for a relationship. I am not with my husband because of the sex. I am with with him because of the companionship, having him home for home for dinner as a family makes me happy, sharing a bucket of popcorn and a movie is great. I have never used "sex" as an indicator of how well our marriage is, I put weight on conversation, friendship, how he uses his heart. What is your opinion on this? Currently, there is no action. What is the norm? Is there a norm? Are you supposed to turn everything off until..... when? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Thank you for your honesty and your opinion. I hope this question does not offend anyone, and if I have, I am terribly sorry. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]