Can anyone here explain how my WW can send me the following e-mail:<p>Just a quick note to say I'm thinking about you. Have a GOOD day. I'm so sorry for all of your heartache, I really am. I do love you and miss you. Love, Me.<p>And then, with her next computer keystrokes,send this note to OM:<p>i wish things were very different. How i wish you did find me a long time ago. This is too right to be a wrong thing between us. I love you, I am really missing you, I need you here with me.<p>Is this person from another planet???? Last night I gave her a poem I wrote about the great weekend we spent together. Tears came to her eyes, and she thanked me. I said that the poem should help her realize that we can have happy times. She said she knows that. I told her that sometimes I feel like things are hopeless, but God gets me thru. She said that "things are not hopeless". I then told her that my love for her is "right" and asked her if she really believed OM's love for her was "right". She hesitiated, then said no. She said that she knows what they are doing is wrong. That its a big mess. Then she said "Sometimes I..." and our D came in and she stopped and never finished the sentence. I didn't want to bring it up anymore so it was left hanging.<p>We went to sleep in each other's arms for the third straight nite. This is the most physical contact I've had with her for 4 months (since A started, I imagine).<p>Yet this AM, I'm sure she's back on-line with OM, like every day. And IM'ing him, and calling him.<p>WHAT IS GOING ON HERE????!!!!!!<p>I could use some wisdom, perhaps from a WS that has been in her position???<p>God Bless you all.

I'm not a WS but my guess (based on our experience) is that she is struggling between what feels really good(having her needs met) and what she knows is RIGHT(being with you and your family). Sounds like you are doing good not LBing, which is important.
How's your Plan A? It must be going pretty well if she is showing signs of confusion.
I wouldn't recommend sharing what you know about the A with her. It could put her on the defensive and sabatoge your Plan A. Use it to your advantage.

I don't know if I can help you, but I understand what your W goes thru. I feel so at home with H, then at work I'd like to e-mail and call OM and it takes a lot to stay away from communications. <p>She is trying to figure out place for each of you in her life. She is torn apart by that and plan A is what the best right now. Also, if you read Dr.Harley's books, she feels addicted to OM. To stop addiction a person has to stop using, like drugs or alcogol. Does she know that you know about A? Try softly explain to her that it's only getting worse if she keeps contacts with him. Do you have marriage counselor? Maybe he/she can explain it for her. She is confused and tries to have it all, but it is not going to happen. I admire the way you try to understand how she feels, she has to appreciate that.<p>Does your plan A have an end date? Harley recommends 6 months... Good luck!

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Boppo57:
<strong>Is this person from another planet????</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Close. Real close. She's definitely in control of the aliens who abducted her and rearranged her brains.<p>Seriously, cleo is dead on. She's in that bi-polar stage where she's literally a Jekyl and Hyde from our layman's point of view.<p>Most important for you right now is to NOT LB!! Don't give her a reason to doubt her partial committment to what is right. Don't pressure her. Simply stated, don't do anything to upset her memory of your relationship other than to continue fixing whatever you can that needs fixing in YOU and then demonstrating the fixes.<p>Other than that, sit back and let the other half of her brain figure out that it's screwed up. this may take time. Take the high road and walk tall, knowing you are in the right and YOU have the better offer already on the table.