I know to some this might seem silly but I would really love your advice. <p>I've been cheated on in the past and the hurt cut right to my soul. That marriage ended with me getting a divorce and moving on. I'm happy to report that I'm in a happy marriage although we do have a few problems like most couples do. <p>I feel that the main problem is with me learning to trust again and not feeling so afraid of being cheated on. It's a problem that I keep locked inside and rarely let my husband know how it worries me. But a few weeks ago something stirred my internal pot of fears and I don't know if I'm crossing the line or being reasonable. <p>The situation is that he started to get emails from a former classmate of 10 years or so ago. I initially had no problem with this girl writing to him. She has sent 4 emails so far, full of questions etc. I must include that they were not even really good chums, just had one class together. Anyway, I told him that I felt a little uncomfortable about this and hoped that he would catch up on their lives since school and be done. I mean what can they possibly have in common now after all these years? <p>He thinks that I'm being silly, but I know of many people who ran off with someone from the net. I know that I need to work on my issues of trust. But I agree with Dr. Harley that you shouldn't trust 100%. <p>I guess my questions is do I have a right to ask him to stop corresponding with her or does that make me look like some sort of paranoid insecure woman? I'm worried that by even speaking my feelings on the subject I am imposing on his right to privacy and freedom to write this girl. <p>sigh Help.

I think that you should explain to him that you are not trying to be overbearing or controlling, but you love him and because of your past you feel that it could be a pandora's box and your not comfortable with it. <p>I learned the hard way that stifling communication is what leads to affairs and possible divorce. Speak now, rationally, and explain to him why it is causing you anxiety. He is your husband, he should respect that. If not, you would do yourself a favor to examine where you are at in your marriage and fix problems before they get out of control.

redshoe,<p>Read fall in love and staying in love ... basically you have to give 4 gifts of love ... Care, protection, time and honesty. Learn MB and invites your H too.<p>All marriage should be fulfilling M !!!!, if you can see the spark of "love" in spouse's eyes you are in trouble. I would not settle for less.

talk and work on the M if he will, sounds as if he thinks this is ok, I do not.... I would be worried, it is inappropriate, and someone who is writing him probably has more in mind anyway...you are right to be concerned...... honey

redshoe --<p>I agree with what you've received so far from your responses, especially from Honey and BrokenMan2Day. <p>There was a thread on here several days ago about affairs with old HS classmates and how often emails promote them. It was frightening and you have every right to be wary, even if your past hadn't happened. It's a danger in its own right! <p>You have every right (even a responsibility) to be concerned and to communicate your discomfort to your H and you need to insure that unequivocally he understands what you're telling him. You have every right to ask that he discontinue this communication with her.<p>We're united with you on this. It's not right, safe, or smart. Show him these posts. We don't know you and we easily can see the danger even from a distance. Besides, it's just basic respect for him to honor your request. If he loves you...<p>He may think it's silly to get all worked up, but I will tell you (and him) that it's not at all. You're protecting you and your marriage and that's very smart!<p>Ammon

Dear redshoe,<p>Here is the thread that Ammon referred to. If you show this to your H and remind him of your insecurity due to your past experience, maybe he will willing stop emailing his friend. <p>HS Sweethearts<p>Best wishes,
Estes