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Is something wrong with me?
#9712 09/10/99 06:11 PM
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 26
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WorkedForMe
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WorkedForMe
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Because when I read the posts on this forum, I seem to identify more with what the betrayers feel than what the betrayed feel, and it's starting to worry me. Could I be "one of them," and I didn't even know it. Or, could I have been a betrayer but my H beat me to it? These thoughts have really bothered me the last couple of days. I've read quite a few threads where the betrayer gets bashed or put down for their feelings, and I get confused because I identify more with their feelings than the feelings of the betrayed spouses doing the bashing. I read what the betrayer says, and I go "that's exactly what I was thinking." Then a betrayed spouse comes in and slams them. What's wrong with me? What does this all mean?
Re: Is something wrong with me?
#9713 09/10/99 06:46 PM
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airheart Offline
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WorkedForMe,<P>Perhaps if you were more specific about what you are agreeing with? Which thought exactly were you relating with? I've seen your posts on New Woman's and new_beginning's thread, and I think I see where you're coming from, but maybe you can be more specific?<P>Just because you see the logic of New Woman's comments or new_beginning's threads, doesn't necessarily mean that you are a betrayer. Both of those women, over and above being former betrayers, are also very smart, intelligent, and empathic women. They post with geniune concern and care. If you are relating with that, then I don't think there's anything wrong with you...<P>--andy
Re: Is something wrong with me?
#9714 09/11/99 09:00 AM
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Sweetpea Offline
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I can relate to you, but I don't think I could have been the betrayer because I know that I could never live with myself in such a situation, and also because I figured out that what I want from my H can not be provided by another man.<P>Yeah, I haven't been getting my needs met for a very, very long time--at least 13 years! My H has been disrespectful of me, been unaffectionate, and downright hateful to me so many times over the years.<P>Finally, though, he admitted what I've known for those 13 years, and I hope that we're starting the rebuilding process. We've still got a long haul ahead of us, though.<P>So, yeah, I can relate to how some of the betrayers feel. I've been miserable in my marriage, but something kept me from cheating.

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