Months ago I created a thread needing help with coordinating giving my x-H his STUFF.<p>Welp, it never happened, x-H cancelled. <p>So, here I am today packing it all up ... ughhhh!<p>I started last night and found myself a bit sad but haven't cried. In the D papers he claimed this STUFF as his, so legally we should have exchanged it a while ago, been D 7 mos.<p>My plan is to pack it all up, have some mover dudes pick it up and take it to a local storage place. Then send my x-H the key to storage with location, and simultaneously send him an email from an annonymous mediator and email acct. (me in disguise).<p>As the mediator, I will state that all inquiries regarding the STUFF or anything else should go thru me (mediator). That NO contact should be attempted of the x-W (me). <p>Hopefully, this will discourage my x-H from contacting me.<p>You guys would be proud of me. I have been tempted to pitch a few things instead of packing them. But as I look at his clothes and such I find myself wanting him to have them so he is warm and looks good. I still care for him so much. Maybe I'm really starting to become a better person and letting go of the anger. I really hope so. I'm also washing & folding everything so nicely, but there is one naughty thing I'm doing ..... at the very top of one of the clothes boxes I have placed this sleazy looking shirt OW bought my H during the A. It really is sleazy, it's shinny silver material with a BIG black zipper in the front. It looks like a John Travolta (Staying Alive) reject shirt. <p>Anyone have any suggestions on adding something to these boxes that will burn the OW and make her LB, yet not LB my x-H???<p>Love,
Jo

Hi Jo,<p>Hugz hon. I know what you are doing is hard. You want no future contact with him in this state so probably it would be better not to pack anything extra. However, if a photograph of you and him together should fall into the box right on top and fixed in place so it can't slide off or get lost. hm...... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>JHMO,
L.

Hi Jo,
I am doing the same thing today! I am putting all of his stuff in a garbage bag (but I won't throw it over the fence.. LOL..I'll be good!) I don't have any great ideas for you, but wanted to let you know that I am thinking about you. I know how hard it is. If I think of anything great to put in the boxes, I'll let you know! (I suppose it would be an LB to put in a picture of the two of you together, but wouldn't it be a kick to see the OW face when she saw it!!)
BH

Hi Jo, <p>This is a sad duty, packing up. What about slipping in copies of photos from happier times, ones of xH and you, xH, and OC. Do you still have any momentos of times with you that you know for a fact that your xH cherishes? Just one or two. Don't overdo it.<p>Estes

Resilient - your " name" is dead on. What a nasty chore; sounds like you did a great job... give yourself some credit [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Estes idea is a great one, to me.<p>Dan<p>[ January 19, 2002: Message edited by: Family Man ]</p>

Hi Jo - I suggest you forget the extra item(s) to pack. I can think of all sorts of stuff that would be fun to throw in from smelly cheese to a dead rat, but you are above that. Don't stoop to a lower level, OK? That said, the picture idea is a good one because it is not vindictive. Perhaps there are some you wwnt to get rid of?<p>Dave

HI, I am here patting you on the back... make room for your stuff! the pic sounds like a nice idea... just not any you want back... hugs to you on a hard day, honey

Resilient,
I am sure this is hard, even though you are handling it very well. As for the storage bin idea, how much in advance are you paying for this place? If he does not pick the stuff up, are you going to be liable for future rent payments? If you stop paying, will it go against your credit report? You might want to be sure that just in case he never does get the stuff, the storage unit will allow you to either have a garage sale out of there or dump it in their trash. If you give him ample notice and he never get it, then he has legally forfeited his ownership on the 'stuff'.<p>I bring this up because I did this once for my oldest sister. She left town to find herself after her H left with his latest OW'en. She left me with her entire home and possessions to take care of. The house sold. I put her possessions in storage at $100 a month. Three years later, after forking out over $4000 in paying movers and storage fees she had would not deal with it. She eventually told me to throw it all away. I sold some in a garage sale and gave the rest to charity. Never got anywhere near the money and time back that I’d put into that project. And now she is mad at me because I did not make her thousands on selling her ‘stuff’. The moral here is that no good deed goes unpunished.<p>If you do end up having a garage sale with it, either put the $$ in an account for or buy a savings bond for OC with it. Or donate the stuff or the money to a charity.<p>Now for the fun part... WAT is right but I don't think you are talking about stooping to some low level. Maybe you could put photos (or zerox’d copies of photos in every pocket? . And/or fold one into each garment... sort of a shower of your life together. Now that would definitely make OW LB. lol the image is pretty funny... [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi everyone,<p>Great idea about the pics. <p>Z, I am so damn mad right now I could SPIT nails. Your idea is so cool, but now I just don't know ...<p>I just found a secret little place in my x-H's Studio/Office. A stash of video cartridges. <p>I am going to post a thread about in a min. Did God engineer this discovery?<p>Jo

Dear Resilient,<p>I packed up my H stuff in his Bronco before Christmas. I put in tons of pictures of our family all the way through his wonderful retirement ceremony last year. I placed them sporadically through everything...so as they unpack....they will conveniently fall out.<p>I would love to watch the OW's face as she sees the family that she thinks was never there for him. If I could only be a fly on the wall. Do you think the light will ever come on for her??? Will she ever see him for the lying, cheating H that he was---probably not...but it would be fun anyway.

You are such a nice level-headed person. I would not have the fortitude to do what you are doing. I would probably find something evil to write on little scraps of paper and tuck them into every pocket, nook and cranny.<p>Imagine how he will feel when he finds all of his things lovingly folded and packaged. It will break his heart, if he has one. Bet the first thing he does is try to call you and express how much he misses you.