Yeah, came upon it in a very good hiding place, in an old acoustic guitar case, 12 video tapes.<p>I waffled back and forth on viewing them, curiosity won.<p>I am so disgusted, honest to gawd. I'm not a prude, these tapes are THE most disgusting movies. Stuff I can't or won't even repeat. Just suffice it to say my x-H has major issues.<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Somebody stop me, I am about to throw all his stuff in the big dumpster I have outside my house. What is this??? <p>Secrets, lies, infidelty, hard core porn ... who is this man? Are all men like this?<p>Jo<p>[ January 19, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Jo,<p>Oh I am sooo sorry you are learning this. ..... life deals some ugly stuff sometimes. This is a side of him you never knew about?!?!?! I am sorry. <p>Will be calling you soon....k?<p>L.

Oh Resilient,
My husband did that too...found lots of his stuff. I always threw it out because it was so disgusting.<p>He says now I am just a prude....and don't understand the needs of real men. RIGHT!!!<p>When I look back now...I should have left the first time....well, now he says he has found a 28 year old bimbo that understands his needs. Good for him.<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: miserynmissouri ]</p>

I'm so sorry about this discovery!!!! Get the tapes out of the house ASAP. Do throw them in the dumpster. Even consider going a few dumpsters down, not in yours.<p>No, Jo. All men are not like this. In fact MOST men are NOT like this. I know this really hurts, but this discovery might help reinforce that you have made the correct decision by cutting off all contact with xH. <p>Thinking of you,
Estes

No jo, all men are not like that, but many are and it is way too easily accepted by society, and often gf and w...Absolutely throw it away, that is what you usually do with trash...right? Good idea about not doing it in your trash though, you wouldn't accidently want it connected to you....consider this a gift from God, He was making sure you never reconsidered your exH as marriage material again.<p>And QUIT looking at them you nut, you will have to wash your eyes out with soap, and that stings like heck.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Resilient:
<strong> Are all men like this?
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I'd say very few are. I don't even look at girly magazines.<p>I really wish we could make the feeling go away. We are all with you, Jo.<p>Now, maybe THIS is the stuff to pack up with the clothes.<p>Dave

No, No, DON'T throw them away..<p>Give them back to him, maybe hand them to him..<p>I'm just thinking of the look on his face; after all he hid them well...<p>Dan

I'm okay I guess.<p>To see this demented stuff reminds me of my H telling me that our marriage was inadequate, meaning I was inadequate. He said there are things I didn't know about him as a HUSBAND ... guess he was right.<p>I didn't mean to offend any of the men on here, it's just that I keep reading and having convo's with other women that so many men are, or become this way as they get older.<p>Jo<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Jo,<p>just thoughts

Hi Jo,
I am so sorry you had to go through such a terrible ordeal. I like the idea of putting them in his "stuff". If you can handle that, then go for it. If not, just throw them in a bag and put them in the trash. (Or you could put them in a box and mail them anonymously to the OW) Hang in there Jo! Hugs to you.
BH

Put them in his stuff, and let her deal with them... that is sure to get a rise... hugs, honey

Thanks again everyone.<p>I don't know why I was surprised. I kept saying to myself "they're probably just tapes of fellow musicians or bands". I'm not very worldly I guess.<p>Through more investigation I see my H ripped off the labeled title of each movie. I also see they are second hand as there are price tags on some of them, hand written on store bought labels. <p>I don't know why my H married me, we lived togther for 5 years before he asked me, he knew me intimately before we married. I thought we fit in many ways including sexually. If I wasn't right for him sexually, then why get married? <p>I will throw the tapes away, in a dumpster in town. If I returned them to him or sent them to OW, they'd both like it. They're both into this kind of stuff.<p>He must know I would find them. <p>Jo

NO NO NO!!!! You are NOT inadequate! HE is!<p>Any guy that has to look a sick porn has problems, and the problem is not you, it's him. The inadequate one in the marriage was him.<p>I can relate to the horror and disgust of finding "The Stash." It makes you want to vomit. It's an assault on your mind when you see the things that your husband, the dear man that you have lying next to you in the bed every night, views in secret.<p>My husband has a guitar case, too. He used to play blues before he went into the Corps. It's where he hid his little piece of notebook paper with all of Miss Kitty's contact numbers and photographs. However, most of his porn garbage was on the PC. We went round and round over the occasional "nekked picture" I found prior to d-day. When he went on deployment, the same time I found out about his affair with Miss Kitty, I found tons and tons of filthy garbage porn. All I had to do was use some choice words to search and all his hidden files popped up.<p>It made my heart pound when I looked at this stuff. My husband, it seemed, had a fettish for older women (like Miss Kitty) and obese women. And anal--well, you get the picture. Lots and lots of that stuff.<p>Plus, I found all his cyber-sex conversations he had with different woman. It was all so filthy.<p>It almost made me feel as if I had been raped, as this is the man that I shared myself with and I was viewing his sick mind.<p>I am really sorry, Jo. You get rid of that stuff as fast as you can and don't look at anymore.

Jo,
Not all guys are like this -- That number and the kind would be be a bigindication that he has some sexual addicition problems --Did he lack capacity fot tru intamacy?
Not that is matters, but this could help explain some things I bet.
You know what is best - trashing them is probablly best.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by miserynmissouri:
<strong>He says now I am just a prude....and don't understand the needs of real men. RIGHT!!!
</strong><hr></blockquote><p>I could not respect myself if I did some of those things, MnM. Why is it they have to go so far, so way out of what I consider normal, to get aroused? What happened to them?<p>Jo<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Oh, yeah--your X is not IN any of these movies, right, as far as you can see? His OW?<p>I agree with family man--hand them to him. Me, being kind of a instigater, I would say "So this is what you wanted? THIS is what you left me for? Well, have fun then."

jeez jo, will you quit giving the details!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! bad enough you have to have this stuck in your head.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Bernzini:
NO NO NO!!!! You are NOT inadequate! HE is!<p>Any guy that has to look a sick porn has problems, and the problem is not you, it's him. The inadequate one in the marriage was him.
<hr></blockquote><p>Thanks Berni. I can imagine my thread has triggered some bad memories for you. I'm sorry.<p>Obviously there must be some shame my H feels, why else rip the labels off.<p>Jo<p>[ January 20, 2002: Message edited by: Resilient ]</p>

Sorry SnL, I'll edt my posts.<p>I just don't have anyone to talk to about this right now. And since I'm female I have a need to talk things out. This is so disturbing to me.<p>I'm really sorry.<p>Jo