angry outbursts
this is way long--but I needed to let it out someplace.
I have read the angry outbursts letters, signed up to start the HN/HN class next week, have the tapes to His Needs Her Needs & Love Busters we have both listened to them several times, play them when riding in the car. But H still has angry outbursts almost every time his daughter (from 1st marriage) refuses to come for the weekend. She says it is because of me. Most are incidents she has stretched or out right lies or just things she doesn’t like. ( ) are things she tells her dad about me. We’ve tried the “these are the rules at our house” she has no rules at mom’s house (mom always lets me) I found her writing inappropriate letters to guys on the net “I’m wearing my silky black thongs for you, & talking about lap dancing . . .” and talking to them in checker rooms. I put controls on the computer. (She won’t let me on the computer and it’s my computer!) I’m the BAD guy. She is 12 yo 5’5” 250#. I serve low fat meals and NO snack food around. ( I starve her, I won’t let her eat) (She runs around naked and bad mouths my mom) that one is the lie. H and I made a pack NOT to even talk about her mom in her presence. Problem: he goes to pick her up she refuses to go with him, he comes home and has the angry outburst at me. He has smashed the computer keyboard, put a hole through the wall, smashed the phone. He yells every cuss word known, threatens, picks up things to throw. Last time I tried to call the pastor for help. “if you touch the phone I’ll smash it” I tried to walk out the door “If you leave don’t ever come back”<p>the out bursts seem to always have some connection to his daughter. I think he feels guilty about his divorce. But she got it after she had the other mans kid on H’s insurance. Then married other man.<p>I have been trying to be gone on weekends(conference, work, my mother needs me, church women) so that his daughter will come to his house. but that makes him a little irritated at me. He insists we can be a “family” I don’t see how. I have really tried to be nice (take her places, buy her stuff) to his daughter since I have known him, 5 yrs. M 2 1/2ys. But she goes home with some terrible story of something I did that causes mom to call and chew dad out , sometimes at work, it wrecks our life at least mine. to hear all the stuff. did you say this to daughter? well she said you did “this” while she was here.
I don’t know if this 2nd marriage is worth hanging on to.
I seems to get all the anger he has toward 1st wife and daughter.
I still like him but our marriage from my view is just “a good financial deal”
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