For several months now my wife has maintained a chat and e-mail relationship with another married man. I had seen all of my wifes activity in the Windows registers so I had asked her what is going on. She claims she has a friendship with this man as she feels the need to communicate and as I work alot she does not get all she needs from me. I became suspicious and installed a tracking program. She has almost daily contact with this man and is continuosly checking her mail. They chat 2-4 times a week. There converstions are about their circumstances and family obligations as well as there dreams which they can not fulfilled due to these circumstances. There feelings of friendship for each other and the feeling that their souls are similar. This guy in all his metaphysical chating about souls and unfullfilled dreams ALWAYS steers the conversation to talking about how my wife will not drop her barriers to live the life and freedom she really wants. To be free to love and experience in the intimacy only she needs to know about. (meaning sex and probaly with him). She declines his insinuations but goes back every day for more claiming she enjoys chatting with him. They have also spoken by telephone and are planning to meet.
What I do not really understand is what my wife is doing. She tells him she does not want an affair, has a good sex life with me but goes back continously to communicate with a married man who is evidently looking for more. He claims his life is his and only he is responsible for his actions. He has a part that belongs to him and does not include his wife. I had confronted my wife and she has claimed she does not want an affair or sex with this guy. I feel she may be telling the truth but it appears to me she is emotionally attached. I need opinions on what you all may feel are the limits someone can have in a friendship like this or is it really more or even a form of emotional infidelity. Thanks

Well...I can only tell you what I have experienced and learned over the last couple of years. A spouse should not engage in activities that cause their partner to feel uncomfortable. Talking about families and family activities is one thing but they should NOT be discussing personal or intimate things with a member of the opposite sex, nor discussing your or his relationship. This man sounds like someone I once knew that had this 'my life' attitude. He is now divorced. <p>Yes it is his life and he is responsible for his actions, but he and your wife have responsibilities toward spouse and family that should be a priority here. Sorry, but it does sound like there is something going on here. Please address this calmly and nip whatever it is in the bud before it goes any further and people's lives are devastated. <p>Also, while browsing a local bookstore I noticed a book entitled 'Interner Affairs' apparently it is a big problem and sounds like your wife may be falling into one.<p>Please set down with her and discuss this and how you can both meet one anothers needs. It will be well worth the time and effort spent doing it.

What would I call it? DANGEROUS! Your W knows that you are aware of the contact and that it makes you uncomfortable. The OM is married and seems to be looking for more than a "chat buddy". Your W is planning to meet him in person. If this is not an affair, I fear that it will be soon. Please sit down with your W and talk, find out what she is looking for that this OM is providing. You are her H and you must take a stand and fight for your M, maybe that is what she is looking for you to do. Read His Needs Her Needs and do the questionaire together. Keep reading and posting here, many will be able to offer 1st hand advice. Do not take this lightly, your involvement will make the difference in this situation! Prayers to you both, Ladysing [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]