new here 25 F married three years this Feb,
marriage has had its ups and downs but the reason for my confusion stems much deeper. I have always been in love with this guy (S) we never really were able to have any kind of relationship do to bad timing. I had all of these pent up emotions I was never really able to express to S do to timing and circumstance. Just recently S was in town and called me to have a drink, I felt this was the tme to finally say my peace. I held myself together and blurted out all of my emotions and feelings not quite sure of how S would react. To my surprise the reaction was reciprocated equally.
I now don't know wether that was the right thing to do . I know I am the kind of person who can't keep anything hidden from my H so I told him how i was feeling and he said he already knew and was not happy about it but felt hurt. I somehow feel l;ike I really am supposed to be with S but it would just cause to much confusion and heartache. I feel like deep within my heart S and I will evebntually be togehther but then i think how Awful i am for thinking such a thing. I would never act upon this in any way because I am married but I just wish these feelings were not so strong. I try to make excuses as to why ihave feeling sfor S but they never make to much sense and i just end up feeling confused. What should I do?

So why did you marry your husband if you were "in love" with someone else?

Bramblerose, I married my husband because I have love for him, but I am a true believer in feeling love for more than one person. As I said before the timing thing was not right. I will not make any atemp to be with S but I can't help but feel as though maybe I am supposed to be with him. I can't fully describe the way I feel or make anyone else understand. I guess I have to many dilusions of true romance. You know the whole idea that there is someone out there who is your perfect match, but you make due with what you have. I don't really understand my confusion so it makes the situation even more confusing. I married my husband because we were pregnant with our first child I felt like I would be doing the right thing by giving our first daughter a mother and father and I felt like I was doing the right thing at the time. But if you ask me today, I don't think if we were not having a child together we probably would not be married.

I think if both of you wholeheartedly follow the Harley plan, you will fall in love with each other and forsake all others. The Harleys have seen it happen thousands of times. Trust them. Nothing to lose by trying. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Leilana was reading Give and Take and really spoke highly of it, so you might want to check out that Harley book and do the exercises together. You could also each read Light His Fire and Light Her Fire by Ellen Kreidman. Once again, can't hurt to try. You, your H, and your children have everything to gain and nothing to lose.