Thought I'd try a shot in the dark since I don't know where to turn. I've been with
my wife for 19 yrs, married 13. I'm 39 and she is 38. we have 2 boys, 7 &11. My
wife is/had a sexual affair with her first lover in sept. Aparently he broke it off in
Novemeber. He lives out of state and I believe it is over. My wife still loves him and
doesn't want to work on our Marriage. despite what has happened I still love my
wife and would like to save our M. I read Bruce fisher's "Rebuilding" and the chapter on
"leftovers" with the teenage rebellion is my wife to a "T". The book describes spouses who who have been in a shell because of being confined in childhood and the marriage and then rebell to develop their own identity. The "shell" spouse gets fed up and has radical behavior changes. they use vocabulary that expresses their independence. Their beh. is self centered, selfish, irresponsoble, blaming, erratic, childish, they were flashy clothes, urges for sex, are just some of the signs. It's like they missed out on the teenage rebellion and do it later in life as they realize life is passing them by. In the span of 1 month, my WW
has bought a new house since I refinanced ours to buy her out, a new 2002 Dodge
Intrepid, Exp. custom ordered furnishings, staying out to closing times at bars sev.
times, smoked pot for the 1st time in 18 years and wants to do it again, drinking alot,
using the "F" word way to much, she never used it before, pierced her belly button,
has now got birth control pills, (I had a V) she says its for her moods assoc. with
periods which may be true but the timing is suspicious since she didn't use when she
was here,. wants her independence and lastly tried to commit suicide twice, coming
very close once. She is now on Anti-Ds. I'm afraid her self esteem is at an all time low that she wants to go out and be promiscous to make herslef feel better. This appears to be classic rebellion and
indifference to herself and those that love her. We are separated so I'm sure there is more that I dont know. What causes this and where could I
find out more information about this tragic behavior? I need help desperately before
she self destructs. I dont know where else to look, thanks in advance for your help.
Any assistance would be immensely appreciated! Has anyone else had similar experiences? I know I need to work on me but when the person you love is doing this to themselves it hurts!
