I really need some advice on what to do? The man that I am engaged to has a female friend at work that I seem to be extremely jealous of and it causes major problems. Before we started going out I always thought that my fiance and this friend were a couple. That's how much they were together. When I finally met my fiance I found out that she was alreay married and that they were just good friends. When we started dating and would take breaks together and lunches together she got upset because she had lost her friend for breaks and lunches. During the time that we were dating I didn't really get upset about their friendship. I wasn't very fond of it but, I was only dating the guy. Now we have been engaged for quite sometime and we now work in different offices so they are now back to taking all their breaks together and going to lunch when I am not working. Now the green eyed monster has come out on numerous occasions and he just doesn't seem to care. Which in turn makes it worse that he knows that it bothers me and he still continues to do it. The kicker to this whole thing is that me and the friend look so much alike that people don't know us apart. People constantly think that she is me. Please give me any ideas, thought, prayers, or suggestions. I don't want this relationship to end... we have so much time invested but I don't want to divorce again either. Maybe I am looking at this whole situation wrong by thinking that he shouldn't be so personal with her but, I don't have male friends that I go to lunch with or take all my breaks with. Anytime that I have a business meeting and it requires lunch and any of my male friends are present he is angry for a while.<p>[ January 29, 2002: Message edited by: wendymarie ]<p>Thank you for the responses that you both have given... I tried talking to him only to no avail. He let his car run out of gas and guess who came to the rescue. You got it... the friend drove 30 minutes to her mothers to get a gas can and came back and took him to the station. When I let him know that this really bothered me.. especially since we had already decided that he would ride home with a co-worker and we would ride back in together the next day since we both had to be at work at 7:00am and he could take the gas can with him then... he just told me that was ridiculous... he appreciated all that she did for him. I talked to him about how badly it bothered me and even shared that I had even posted my situation for others to let me know if I was acting silly. He just dropped the subject and let me know that he wasn't discussing it anymore.
Today, I thought long and hard about this and came to only realization... you two are right and I can't make him end a friendship that seems to be more important than our relationship. All of this was brought on when I called him at work and the co-worker that answered the phone thought that I was his female friend. When I asked to speak to him the co-worker said "he is with you isn't he... he told me that he was meeting you for a break" the only reply that I could come up with was "oh, I think you have the wrong friend!" His co-worker apologized and I just started crying. It honestly hurts so badly right this minute to know that this friend that is married and has three children {all by different fathers} is more important than the four years {this April} that we have together. When I tried to let him know that I couldn't take this anymore and that I was tired of being the one that is hurt by all of this... all he could say was that I need serious HELP! Hearing me made me realize that he is absolutely right and that his help is not the kind that I need. I am a single mother that has a wonderful 12 year old son, I have a home that only has my name on the mortage, and I have wonderful family and friends that are tired of seeing me hurt. I don't deserve this and neither does my son. I know that it is going to be hard and lonely at times... but, I think that I will be much happier without all of this hurt!<p>[ January 29, 2002: Message edited by: wendymarie ]<p>[ January 29, 2002: Message edited by: wendymarie ]</p>
