OMGosh amh,
First of all, consider yourself hugged. I have not experienced any affairs since I have been married, but I was a young OW years before. Since I have been married and on two separate occasions, troubled teenage girls came to my house for refuge. I suspected trouble because they played on my HUSBAND's sympathy and both times, he welcomed them to stay... I also suspected trouble because both of them were at odds with their mothers.<p>For those reasons, I never trusted them as far as I could throw them.<p>Because both of the girls were at odds with their mothers, I found that to be a red flag. Both mothers of the teenagers were single parents. I was close friends with one of the moms and was told by the mom that her daughter thought MY HUSBAND was hitting on her because he SMILED at her! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>When I told my husband what this girl said, he said, "Well, then I must be hitting on everybody because I smile at everybody..." We got a good laugh out of that remark. Still, I filed it in my thoughts.<p>One day I awoke from an evening nap to find the girl sitting in my house. She was running away from her mother. Evidently they had a fight and she thought she could camp out at our house. I sent her home straightaway! Had I one ounce of your compassion, she might have been invited and willing to stay with us indefinitely! But since I already had the red flag syndrome, I figured she was taking advantage of my husband's good nature. (little slut!) sorry, but that's how I felt!!! BTW, she was pregnant out of wedlock within a few months. (Regretfully, I've been there done that myself & by a married man, too.) <p>The second girl came over one evening and flat out lied to my H and so she ended up spending the night at out house. Said she was locked out of her house and her mother was not home. We believed her. She was really running away. Next day, she was dragging around and I asked her to call home to find out if her mom was there. Nope. So okay, I suggested that she got her shower in and dressed so she could be ready whenever her mom got home.<p>While she was in the shower, I pressed REDIAL on my telephone and lo and behold, her mother answered the phone. We talked and I found out that they had an argument. This girl also took advantage of my husband's good nature. I was livid but I kept my cool.<p>When she came out of the shower, I asked her to please call her mom again and I watched her closely as she went through the motions... She said her mother was not home. I said, "Really?! Try again!!!" And she did. I waited until after she lied again and I said, "That's funny. I JUST spoke to your mother and she told me that she never gave you permission to leave the house and that she has been home all night. You lied to me. You better leave now." [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] <p>A couple of years ago, out of the blue, I bumped into her mother at church and she told me that she is now a grandmother. I was not surprised.<p>Dear amh, I don't know if this is any consolation, but you should really be glad that this girl did not get pregnant by your husband.<p>I don't know how you can get passed all the betrayal because your marriage is forever touched by infidelity, but if your husband is remorseful and willing to prove himself to you, then it is worth giving him a chance.<p>Honestly, if I were in your shoes I don't know if I could forgive. But I DO know how manipulative and seductive seemingly innocent teenage girls can be. Now that you know your husband's weakness in this area, you know how to protect your household from these types of predators. Good luck!<p>[ January 28, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>
