Hi to everyone, I see so many new people on here. I have not been on for a while, For you all you know my story, it has been hell this past 5 months.<p>My Wh refuses to give me enough money to pay bills and take care of the children, he does give me money but only enough to pay the mortgage, as for all other bills he refuses to pay. <p>To make a long story short my pay is enough for food and clothing and gas other than that my pay cannot pay any of the household bills, My WH pay is around 5,000.00 a month!!!<p>Anyway I proceeded to file for D so I could take him to court to get him to pay bills, everything is so late at this point that the utilities are going to be turned off, I have never been so sacred and angry in my life, I cannot believe that this man who I dedicated my life to and had kids with and stayed with for 19 years could stoop this low, he even changed his cell phone number so now the kids can't get in touch with him, who would want to.<p>He also says that he only wants the kids on Sunday afternoons for a few hrs. thats it, my kids are devasted by all this, I am really trying hard to keep it together but I feel like I am falling apart.<p>I suppose he just wants to erase us from his life like we never existed. I am coming to the point where I just want to start my life over but I don't know which direction I am going, can anyone relate to that?<p>I go to my attnorney tomorrow to sign court papers in the meantime he does nothing and I mean nothing for his family, he doesn't care if we lose the house or that the utilities will be shut.<p>I am sorry for go on and on its just so frustrating. Thanks for listening.<p>
Love Sally

Sally,<p>I am ashame I have somthing hanging between my leg, similiar to your H's. If that what it take do it but let the utility turned off at least one day. Depending on where you live, you might need it later in the court, consult w/ your lawyer. Document about the cell also you should file for sole custody, so that you could move on and never look back.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>I suppose he just wants to erase us from his life like we never existed. I am coming to the point where I just want to start my life over but I don't know which direction I am going, can anyone relate to that?</strong><hr></blockquote>
It is scary but you know you could do it, be strong. Seek nina too at D/D board, she did plan C and never look back.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>I go to my attnorney tomorrow to sign court papers in the meantime he does nothing and I mean nothing for his family, he doesn't care if we lose the house or that the utilities will be shut.</strong><hr></blockquote>
With that you could take H to the cleaner in term of spousal and child support.<p>Sally, be strong, keep your chin up and move on. You have new life in front of you and only you this time in control of it. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks Redhat, your encourgement keeps me going. I am going to play this out and see what happens. He cannot get away with this I will fight him the bas+@rd.<p>He is a police officer, I am considering calling his captian and letting his force know what a moron he is. Thanks <p>
Love Sally

I find it unbelievable that a man can care so little for his kids, let alone the woman whom he shared a life with for so long. While I was in the middle of my affair, despite the fact that I wanted the other woman over my wife, my concern was still for her safety and my kids. My wife would throw a guilt trip on me about abandoning my kids...and I knew she was right.<p>Hearing your story has benefit...it makes me see the impact on my family. I know this is little consolation for you, but we wandering spouses need to hear stories like yours.<p>Best wishes.

Thank you Marshall59, Its good to hear from a recovering WS. My life has been completley turned upside down and so has my children's lives, Please if there is any hope or love left in you marriage build on that and try to work things out, the pain a Ws causes a BS is unbearable its like mourning a death.<p>I give you credit to try to get support and to try to make your marriage work, Thank you for your kind words, and good luck in your marriage.<p>
Love Sally

Hugs Sally...<p>I am sorry your H is being such a b*****d. There is no other word for it.<p>I hope you are seeking out some help where you are. Don't try to get through this alone. There are agencies out there to help you.<p>You might check with your church first... then with local social services...<p>hugs and prayers,
Cali

Sally, I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I know you probably won't see this post until Thurs eve, but I wanted to toss this your way. If it's cold where you are and you can't do without the lights/heat going out, would you consider going to the Salvation Army for help? They are wonderful, caring people and they CAN help someone like you -- a working mom with an H who either refuses to help at all or helps very little. You may qualify for a one-time (maybe two) emergency energy subsidy. It's what the organization is there for. And you can take that to court, too. <p>I'm praying for your family tonight.<p>Snow

Wow Sally,<p>Sorry to hear what is going on....it is not fun...I am sorry for what has happened to your family<p>What does your lawyer say? Can you get temporary support? <p>I don't get maintainance...but I do get temporary child support. <p>I have to run to basketball practice...hope you are doing better today.

Thanks for your replies Cali, snowwhite a Mnm, its thurs. eve. and I just returned from my Att. I had to sign papers to let a judge decide the outcome of the support amount. So I checked on here and saw that you all replied to me. thanks.<p>Thanks for the hugs Cali, and yes I am seeking out help for me and my kids, and hoping for the best but preparing for the worst.<p>Hi snowhite, yes I would consider doing what ever I had to do to keep my heat going, yes its cold here on Long Island. Thank you for your prayers.<p>
hi MnM, nice to here from you its been a while, I did speak to my Att. and I have signed papers to get temp. support through the courts, but there is so much paperwork to file its crazy. I should here something by next week, in the meantime, I hope the oil doesn't run out luckily its been a mild winter here on Long Island, and my other utilites are over due, I am just hoping that the court orders him to pay before they shut it off. Hope all is well with you.<p>
Love Sally