<p>[ February 11, 2002: Message edited by: God is in Control ]</p>

I like your new screen name, it is the absolute truth and I hope you remember this in the days to come. First, are you doing things to take care of that precious new baby? With all the stress going on, you need to make sure that the doctor is keeping a close eye on you and your babys health. Do you have a plan in place for when the baby comes, someone to get you to the hospital, take care of the other kids, take care of you afterwards. I think you should be concentrating on these things instead of @#$%H. <p>Quick question, do his parents know about the A? What has he told them?<p>Now, as far as the divorce is concerned, I would recommend you going to see an attorney yourself if you haven't already, make sure you know your own legal rights, don't let H tell you what they are. You are in a very difficult spot and H's actions are completely dispicable (sorry). The divorce (or most probably separation agreement) will spell out the visitation schedule, thus preventing H from ahving the kids at his leisure. Plus, I am sure that you can put something in there, the seperation agreement, that he is not allowed to have 'lady friends' spend the night when the kids are over there. You should also force him to attend parenting classes and divorce classes as well. I would also tell the attorney about how he has moved out, leaving you along, pregnant and having to take care of the kids by yourself, you may have some kind of legal leg to stand on.<p>I guess what I am saying is that you should make him own up to his end of this as well. The kids are going to suffer tremendously because of his actions and he should at least be man enough to do the right thing.<p>The birth of a child should be a joyful experience, know that God is holding you close and is watching over you. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

I WANT YOU TO LOOK AT "YOUR" FAMILY ~ LOOK AT WHAT "YOU" HAVE ---- THIS IS WHAT YOUR H IS LEAVING. HE MAY BE LIVING THE "HIGH LIFE" NOW BUT WHAT DAMAGE HE IS DOING, HE WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE. YOU CAN'T TELL HIM THAT --- IF HE DOESN'T SEE IT ~ HE ISN'T WORTH IT. I WAS ALSO PREGNANT WHEN MY HUSBAND LEFT ME THE 1ST TIME. I LET HIS ACTIONS WEAKEN ME. I WAS HOSPITALIZED FOR DEHYDRATION 6 TIMES. HE NEVER CAME TO THE HOSPITAL ANY OF THEM. I HAD THE BABY (HE IS 6 MONTHS OLD - MY ONLY CHILD)MY HUSBAND NOW HAS REGRETS FROM HIS ACTIONS. BUT AGAIN, HE LIVES WITH THOSE REGRETS NOT ME. I KNEW WHO I WAS: A WIFE & A SOON TO BE MOTHER. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOUR H DOESN'T KNOW WHO HE IS. YOUR BOYS AND YOUR PRECIOUS SOON TO BE BORN BABY GIRL --- WILL BE OK -----------YOU ARE THEIR MOTHER, YOU ARE THEIR FOUNDATION. YES, THEY ARE CHILDREN BUT THEY NEED NOT SUFFER FROM YOUR HUSBANDS CRISIS. YOU ARE A GOOD WOMAN. IT IS HARD TO DO RAISE CHILDREN AND FIND TIME FOR YOURSELF AND "BE THE BETTER PERSON". BUT "WE" ARE IN CHARGE OF OUR LIVES, OUR FUTURES --- NO ONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!! CHANGE YOUR FRAME OF MIND ~ LET GO. YOUR CHILDREN LOVE YOU I AM SURE ~ THEY WILL LEARN FROM YOU GOOD THINGS, THEY WILL LOVE THEIR FATHER, BUT THEY WILL SOON COME TO KNOW WHEN THEIR OF AGE THAT "YOU" MADE THE RIGHT CHOICES AND YOUR H HAS NOT. CHILDREN ARE SMART ~ IF THEY ARE LOVED AND YOU TELL THEM SO THROUGH THESE DIFFICULT TIMES YOU WILL SURVIVE THIS! MY HEART KNOWS SOME OF YOUR PAIN. PLEASE KNOW THAT EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW YOUR PERSONALY ~ I KNOW IN MY HEART YOU WILL BE OK --- GOD HAS BLESSED YOU WITH YOUR CHILDREN. FIND STRENTH AND HOPE IN THEM AND YOU WILL BEGIN TO REBUILD YOURSELF. WHAT WILL BE WILL BE. BUT KNOW YOUR H DOES NOT HAVE THE POWER TO MAKE YOU HAPPY ~ "YOU" DO! YOU ARE IN MY PRAYERS! AGAIN, I TRUST YOU WILL RISE ABOVE THIS AND LOOK BACK AT THIS YEARS FROM NOW AND SEE HOW STRONG OF A WOMAN YOU REALLY ARE. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.

3 boys and you are finally having a girl!!! You must be so excited. I am so happy for you.<p>Think about what a wonderful little child you have inside you, just waiting to pop out and be held in her mothers arms.<p>This needs to be your focus, write it down, tattoo it on your forehead, I don't care, this is your primary concern.<p>No matter what happens in the months to come, the way you treat your body and the way you nourish it now will affect your daughter for the rest of her life. Don't lose site of that, I know how easy it can be, I see people here do it all the time.<p>As for your H and custody... each state is different and talking to your attorney is your best chance of figuring out what is best. Just remember, your attorney is not an MB fanatacist, so they tend to be kind of harsh on the opposing spouse...<p>Your children do not have to suffer from your H's actions. Will they be affected? Yes. Will their lives change? Yes. But they do NOT have to suffer. <p>Your a good mom, you won't let that happen, right? [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I know this is an emotionally charged time, you don't know what's going to happen, you are afraid, worried about your children, etc.<p>But you will survive. You will. Just keep focused right now.<p>Your H is doing his crap, just forget about what he's doing. The seperation and stuff, well, obviously you have to deal with some of that, but let your lawyer handle most of it. <p>JUST maybe your life will end up better than it ever was before the affair. God has a way of doing that sometimes. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>HbH

<p>[ February 11, 2002: Message edited by: God is in Control ]</p>