I was just reading on a thread where someone is questioning my identity. It is only by luck that I even saw this aspersion of my character as I normally do not read too many threads. I was taught that you should not attempt to defile another peson's name without just cause and proof. Perhaps the person pointing fingers was not raised properly and is not aware of this. Accusing a complete stranger of being deceitful and a liar shows no upbringing at all.<p>I come here to ask advice for my M and sometimes I post a reply to someone. I can only assume that I was singled out because I expressed an opinion that this person disagreed with.<p>It is a shame when people are so full of themselves and "this gut feeling...." that they think it is okay to lable others as liars.<p>I am only me. I am not Marsha or Marshall. I do have to admit I watched the Brady Bunch years ago and liked Marsha Brady.<p> [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

I apologize amazed.<p>Your name is a trigger for me as it was my H and his OW "song" And continued contact is killing me right now, the thought of an OW using our board to get in contact with her MM made me very angry. <p>Sorry.

Lora,<p>Thank you for your post and for removing the original one. I understand completely about triggers. They bring out things in us we never knew existed and wish didn't. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>As far as this Marshall/Marsha mess. I wouldn't give it any further thought. These two aren't worth your time or energy. My 2 cents is that the one posting as Marshall did sound like a man, but who knows!<p>I am sorry my name is a trigger for you. Perhaps I should change it. [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

Lora - as you know that song is a big one for me too! Well, wouldn't you know, I discover my H was perusing on Yahoo and checked on her profile. Only once. He said it was simply curiosity to see if she had changed anything, and she hadn't. (She was supposed to be getting married..)He assures me that's all it was....blah blah blah blah...
So, the next day, driving to work I hear THAT FRIGGIN SONG on the radio and today it was playing as part of the muzac at the grocery store.
And to top it off Lonestar is playing in our city in just over a week... Okay - is someone trying to tell me something??? <p>AMAZED - gosh - don't change your name. You chose that name for a reason. We have to deal with our triggers as best we can.

Amazed,
I agree, dont change your name, I would have to ban all radios if I didnt want to hear it again. I have to learn to live with it.<p>Alberta,
When we were doing well in recovery I was working on having it not bother me, even sang along a few times. But now that things arent so good, I hate it again. It always comes on when we are in the car going someplace, I sit there with horrible thoughts going through my head. I wonder whats in his? It actually probably a bigger thing to me than it is to him.

hey you guys,
a while back a bunch of us got together and "traded" triggers.
This is how it works: my trigger was that christian fish symbol because it was on back of OW van. I traded for starbucks coffee since I live in podunck and we dont have a starbucks.
Now, when I saw the "fish" I triggered then thought oh ya thats not my trigger starbucks is.
It was a lot easier to be mad at someone elses cheating husband than my own.
Please dont ask me why BUT IT WORKS!!!
It might not work as well for you since you all have the same trigger but someone else here will trade one with you I bet.
In fact I assume this must be a country song and since I dont listen to country I can take it from all of you.
Ok here is my story. Went on delayed "honeymoon" had a great time husband got a little tipsy (we never drink) when we went to bed he snuggled up and said " I love you so much Jennifer" (not my name)the rest is history.
Now everytime you hear that song and it triggers you, you have to say, oh ya thats Lisa's trigger now not mine. Poor Lisa her husband hurt her so bad. Everytime you see one of those "fish" thats YOUR trigger and you say Poor Lisa her husband cheated on her and so did mine, oh well, here we are alive another day.
Really it works I promise.
I could look up the old thread if you like, it was a lot of fun really, we had some good laughs, and really what better medicine could we have than some laughter right now????

I remember that thread - too funny. Actually, I'm doing ok with this one. I don't listen to country at all, so I don't expose myself to the risk of hearing it all that often. I too think it is more of a big deal to me than my H. After I discovered renewed contact in November, my H said he was in a fast food restaurant and it played. He said he felt ill and just wanted to leave. Not sure if that is good or bad...
Anyway, I have to realize that this was a big important song to OW and no doubt she goes through a lot more when she hears it I'm sure. I'm not empathizing with her at all. I really hope she hurts to the core everytime. Not nice, not nice but true.
There's been no contact since letter was sent in November, and my H has been wonderful.