Hi, I'm WS being in EA, but it takes so many emotions out of me, drains me so much.
I feel so good when with my H, I don't even think about contacts with OM. I might think about OM, but not about contacts. My H does plan A not knowing all MB principles. I went thru a bad depression. He started to realize that I was in EA only after I gave him Dr.Harley's book. (He only read one-two chapters, said something like "I got it now".) He tries his best not to LB and does very well. <p>When I am alone I have a strong urge to contact OM. Fogs moves in. It creats a lot of anxiety in my life: huge guilt that I think about OM almost all the time, I talk to him in my mind. We are very far in distance, so contacts with him means only phone calls at that point. I stopped the contacts twice during the last year, but started again. I opened up for my H saying that I've been in contact and cut them off. He said "good", but doesn't want to know more. He thinks that I have to deal with my emotions on my own and not to dump them on him. He thinks that it is just my personality looking for emotional trouble, so he takes a backseat and waits for me to get over. <p>I don't want to hurt him more than I already did, but it seems to me that he would understand my moodiness better if he knew. I don't know how to help him to help me... Any advices?

^^bump^^ Any WSs or BSs have some ideas?<p>Sounds like you need help going through 'withdrawal.' When you are alone and feeling like making contact... make contact w/ H or a good friend...<p>Are you in counseling? calling IC would also be an option...<p>Cali

Thank you, Cali, for your answer. I am going thru withdrawal and it is hard. It is been a year since the A started. I didn't have a D-Day because there is nothing to discover. I told my H about my feelings towards OM, but there is no chance for us to see each other, so my H just let it go and only slightly jokes about it. He waits for me to get out of the fog by myself. When I started to talk about A, he says that I just should move on and I don't.<p>There is nothing to compare what other posts are about, but I wait and wait till I am free from my thoughts about OM, but...

Hello Faraway, You are experiencing a very difficult phase of your life. I pray for your strength and your commitment to your marriage. When you say that there is nothing to discover, you are wrong. An EA means so much...it implies that you have commited much of your time away from your marriage. It means that your heart has been taken away from your H. It means that your time has been dedicated to another person. <p>Your H may be relieved that the EA didn't go PA but an EA represents marriage betrayal. Your H sounds as if he is suffering but leaving you alone. Don't ignore the problems that led to your affair. Repair yourself and your marriage. <p>You are in the right place to do that. Get a counsellor if you have to...<p>Good luck.