<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>jdmac1,
OUCH! I didn't think I was sounding so centered. I don't mean to be I'm just not sure how to "be there" for my W when I know I caused the pain. You are right on all counts. It's my work to do.
Thanks for "the boot"!
brw<hr></blockquote> <p> brw,<p> I did not intend this to sound like I was giving you the boot. I wanted to make sure that you knew this was going to be a long hard battle. I want you to understand that trust will not come without firm actions on your part. <p> And I want you to know that you are ahead of many people on this board simply due to the fact you want to save your marriage. You may not get the chance. But, if your BS decides to try again, you and she will be ahead in this difficult process.<p> Again, you have my respect(for whatever that's worth)because you seem to be coming out of your fog and you want the family to heal.<p> Good luck man<p> jd

jdmac1,
No problem with your reply. I just didn't know how you had taken it. I try to always put what I've done at the front and how it has affected my W and family. It has been too long of an ordeal already for all concerned.
Actions are vital now. The fog has to lift quickly and what I do in response to that will tell thee story.
brw [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

question for you brw...<p>3+ years is a long time...<p>Can you describe the turn of events that enabled you to 'find your way out'?<p>After that length of time, are you saying that 'coming out of the fog' is an admission that you were 'not in love' with your OW? (Assuming you were in love due to length of the affair)<p>What do you think turned things around for you?<p>I fear sometimes...that one has to completely crash and burn before they can ever turn things around. I hope this is not true....but I am struggling like I have never struggled before.