Hello, I am a new member and i need some help please.Evedently I was not meeting my wife's e.n.and she began to get them from another man.She would tell him personal things about our marriage,things that she was not telling me.They began to talk all the time.Then she started to get emotionally attched to him and she got scared and she told me about it.I was crushed.She then began to tell me that she hasnt been happy for a long time.I was bumdfounded.I had thought every thing was ok.She swore to me that there has never been anything physical between them.This was a year ago.I thought I had put this all behind me untill last week when an email that she had sent him mysteriously appeared.I read this e mail. There were things in the email that leads me to believe that maybe there was more than just emotional envolvment.I came home from work and woke her up to talk about it.She swore to me again that there was nothing physical.And that she was sorry and she knows that she has hurt me and my trust for her.I want to seek marriage help from a professional, she thinks that we can work things out between us.Which leads me to believe that maybe she is hiding somthing that she doesnt want to tell me that might come out during sessions.I want so much to believe her.And would it really make a difference if there was anything physical.Now i see myself questioning everything.My wife has more male friends than female.She says she just gets along better with men.Is that a bad thing is she searching for something that im still not giving her.Luckly all of her male friends are married but I still question there intent and hers. How can I get over this and move on with my marriage.Before it destroys me and my wife.
Hope to here from someone soon
hsmm

dear hsmm,
First of all welcome to MarriageBuilders. You've come to a great place for support. Look under the "Just Found Out" forum. There's a post there for newcomers. It will give you lots of information on infidelity both EA (emotional affairs) and PA (physical affairs). Also, the book Surviving an Affair is helpful to both parties. I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this position. I'm not a great example, because my marriage is breaking up over my H's affair, but MORE marriage than not, survive the devastation of an affair. Please read here and post often. Also, counseling is a GREAT place to start. If your W won't go, go for yourself. I will say a prayer for you and your W.<p>MOM

I think you should prepare yourself for the worst.
It would seem unreasonable to believe that she was in an emotional affair with the same man for over a year lying to you about it and nothing physical happened.
Only honesty can save your marriage. Unfortunately your wife has proved to you that she can lie to you for over a year. Counseling is a must to find out why she engaged in this dishonesty and how to recommit to the marriage. Why would you believe anything she says at this stage?