As you all know, I am one of the hurting BS's on this site. I'm interested in following some threads of marital sucesses and recovery. <p>In my situation, my WW's A was discovered on 12/7/01 and she has not seriously discussed ending A at any time since(only had angry outbursts of saying she would "be a good girl" or "will do the right thing for the kids" or "will just stay married and be miserable", etc.) OM is madly in "love" with her and talks always of their future together forever, etc.<p>WW never talks of future, in e-mails or IM's, anyway. But she is full of I luv yous and i need yous and i miss yous. <p>So..... where can I read about similar WS's who have come out of the fog and saved their marriage. You know, the good old fashioned happy endings????

Bop<p>You can look at some of my threads. My M has come a full 360 and is better now than before.<p> Good luck and stay strong.<p>
SLH

I am not a regular poster, but I think my marriage is doing pretty good, too, after my husband's affair from 10/98--12/99. We separated then, then separated again from 6/00--3/01. I pretty much had zero hope of reconciliation, and when he did propose me moving back in with him, I knew it was because he missed the kid as much as I wanted my kid to have a father. That--my unhappiness at destroying my son's family--was my prime motivation for ever getting back with my husband, and telling the truth, there was times I regretted moving back in with him because he was still chasing girls there for a while. We had some pretty bad fights--he stayed in the barracks for a couple weekends here and there.<p>I don't know what changed him--still wondering. No, I guess I do know what made him change primarily--my husband is a military officer, a commander now, and he works in a high-security field. His shenanigans would get him busted. But, now that he has changed, he sees now that it is a good way to live and that we are happy together. Drinking and chasing girls always seemed to get him into trouble and ultimately make him miserable. On the other hand, being a good husband and a good father makes him happy. Duh. Took all these years to figure that out.

My marriage is reconciling now after a long ordeal last year that started on Valentines day- D- day for me. My H told me he was leaving me for OW and that I could never forgive him and that he was out of love with me. He said our marriage was 'over in his head.' He refused to end his A and so after 10 days I asked him to move out to think. Of course OW seized on this to let him move into her condo. He lied and said he was staying with friends. After 4 wks he had to move out because OW had been transferred to another state for her job and the condo was being sold. He moved home saying he had ended it with OW but secretly he was still in contact for another month. He slept on the couch and was cold to me. We were not intimate for 7 mo during all this. He kept saying our marriage was 'hopeless' and lied to me about his calling OW again. Finally he filed for divorce on me in mid-april. That finally woke him up to what he was doing and he cancelled it the next wk and we began counseling for real this time. You can search for my threads as I have written alot about EA/PAs. We had been married 15 yrs at the time of his A and have 3 kids together. OW was a single coworker of his who tried everything she could think of to get H to leave me. She even had my kids over to her place and told H she dreamed of being their step-mom! She kept telling H that he would never be happy with me, I could never forgive him, I just wanted him for his money, that I would take him back for a few months then throw him out again, that she and he were true 'soulmates' etc etc!~ He was TRULY in the fog believe me!!!! lifeismessy

Boppo---<p>Read kb4jb's thread posted today...<p>E

Boppo- have you read James Dobson's book Love Must Be Tough? He has counseling many couples involving infidelity and has some good insight into how the WS's thought process. I used a combo of his advice and advice from the Harley books to help get thru my 4 mo ordeal after d-day. I had to learn to give up control of it all to God and just live day to day. Sounds easy doesnt it but truly it is very hard. The Bible says in Jeremiah 29:11 that God has a plan for your life and wants good for you and not harm. I had to truly start believing that just to get thru the day.My H was so into the fog that he would go to church with me and our 3 kids each wk then drop us off at home saying he was 'going to the gym' then go over to OW's condo.Now THAT is truly the fogged- in state!!!!!!lifeismessy

Here's my WS, Guard, first post on MB:<p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=001131<p>We were in our 7th separation, it was about 2 years since his PA with a co-worker had begun. I was about to serve him D papers and was getting involved with a male friend.<p>We reconciled 5/00 and the happy ending is still going. We're in love...we spend time together, and we like each other.

Hit search. Enter in "success" in the search field, and ask it to look in titles only (not the whole message). There are several success story threads.<p>Kathi