*Newest updates are at the bottom of this thread.<p>Last December(2000), I believed an A was happening. Last December, my hard drive in my computer died. Last January, I learned the "love" had left my marriage... thanks to her not emptying her email trash. Last Febuary, the kids and I moved out for good. Found out A was indeed happening. Last April, I turned 30 and signed D papers. Last May, was our 10 year anniversary and WW called to ask to put D on hold. Last June, D was taken off hold. Last July, D was final. Last Sept, XW wanted to get back together, moved in. Middle of last Oct, XW changed her mind moved out.<p>This December, my replacement hard drive died(almost a year to date of the old one dying) This December, shortly after XW learned about my new girl friend, XW showed up at my apartment with our 7 year old daughter. She had asked our daughter to ask me to go to dinner with them... I refused. It became clear XW was missing me badly, she continued showing these signs for the next few weeks. I told XW I was going to Florida with GF for New Years. XW started dropping by a lot up until New Years weekend(GF lived out of town). Right before I left for the weekend, XW declared undying, never ending love, loyalty and devotion to me "if" I didn't go. She begged me not to go. But I went and for 4 days, XW experienced some of the same feelings I felt for most of the past year.<p>Came back from weekend, GF and I called it quits. She couldn't deal with XW and I didn't blame her(XW wife called about 15 times that weekend "about the kids"). Besides, we both knew where my heart was.<p>Early this Jan XW and I got back together. She's been living with me and the kids since Jan 3. XW looked into my Yahoo email account and found all the emails from XGF. She had no idea how close we were, so now she's the one extremely jealous. But it really is over between me and GF, if she still makes XW jealous then good.<p>XW and I are moving into a new rental house this Feb. She's asking me to propose and to get remarried early this summer.<p>XW is constantly telling me how much she loves me and is "in love" with me. Everyday she tells me she will spend the rest of her life making it up to me. She always tells me she loves me and most importantly, she acts like it. She's really doing everything I could expect and more. She's saying all the right things... "I don't know what I saw in him", "It's like I was living 2 different lives", " I'm with you because I want to be with you and only you forever".<p>So needless to say right now I'm very happy. We're getting along great. We're having a lot of fun just being with each other. We are both very apprecitive of each other.<p>And for the most part, I'm getting everything I want. After living the worst year of my life, I'm the one who gets to have cake and eat it. I'm getting the girl I love the most back. She's totally in love with me and express it daily. I will make it worth it to her. Whatever she needs is what I want to provide.
And I got my revenge. I know, revenge is evil, but it happend. I believe for myself at least it was very important for her to understand how badly she hurt me. She had to appreciate how painful it is to know that the person you love is with someone else. She now appreciates what I went through, she now understands how badly she hurt me. And now when she starts questioning me about XGF I can bring XOM and she can't get mad at me. Actually I never wanted to know any details, but as XW asks me, I ask her and it's been a major healing process for me. As a matter of fact the more I learn about "him" the better I feel about myself.<p>Anyway, just wanted to write a quick update, it's been a long time since I've been here. There's a lot of work to be done in our relationship, but this year's off to a much more promising start than last year. I'm hopeful and happy... can't think of the last time I could say that [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>TTFN<p>[ May 14, 2002: Message edited by: kb4jb ]</p>

Great story.<p>Joe<p>[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: justanotherjoe ]</p>

Congratulations! I am very happy for you!<p>It's amazing how taking steps to "get on with your life" motivated your WS to quickly find her way back home to you! It's also interesting how your heart remained with your W. That's awesome. Another good thing is that there were no hard feelings between you and the girlfriend.<p>I wish you much continued success and happiness.

kb4jb<p>Good for you...<p>It's a great uplifting story...<p>You're in a place lots of wish we were right now...<p>Keep working at it...<p>E

kb4jb,
I'm so glad for you. I'd wondered where you'd gone to! Continue to thank God for the blessing of your W and you coming back together. Keep centered and focused on loving one another. I'm so very happy for you!!!<p>PEACE,<p>MOM

Well thank you Myownme... I really didn't think anyone remembered me. It's been so long since I was here last.<p>And thank you to everyone who's replyed to my post. <p>It's been an incredible journey. I've learned a lot about people and emotions and most importantly I've learned a lot about myself.<p>Lastest update... XW proposed to me last night [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] Wasn't expecting that!!!<p>
oh yeah... I said yes! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>TTFN – JB

[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Sorry to bump up this older topic but I will probably do it a few times in the next few months as my life continues to come full circle.<p>Last V-day, XW spent an hour with me before going off and spending the rest of the day with OM. No present, no card, no sex, nothing but pain and rejection.<p>This V-day, XW spent the entire day spoiling me. Making me forget how bad last year's V-day was. Two presents from her this year, one of them being an engagement ring. Two cards and plenty of intimacy [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

Wow!!!<p>What a great post. I am so happy for you and your wife and your kids.<p>I would love to be in that position.<p>I keep hoping....though reality is, it probably won't happen. So, am trying to move on.<p>Congratulations again!!

Wow here too!!!<p>Oh, I remember you too. Great to hear that things are going well. Sometimes we have to loose something before we realize how much we treasure it.<p>Do keep us posted. I'll be praying for you.

Hey everyone...<p>I promise not to keep updating this old post too much longer. But there have been a few notable differences between this year and last that I missed and wanted to mention. <p>Last Mardi Gras I had the kids, I did meet her so she could see them, but she was too busy w/ her "friends" to walk with us to where the stroller was left, so she didn't watch 1 paraded with them.
This Mardi Gras... well take a look...
http://www.dwdgo.com/users/jb/buffyco.jpg
BTW, guy in hat is my x-brother-in-law<p>Last April 25th I turned 30 [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] WS barely acknowledged it. It was 1 or 2 days before we signed the D papers.
This April 25th I turned 31(not as bad as 30), recovered WS made it as special to me as any b'day I've ever had.<p>Last mother's day... was a total joke. 7 1/2 year old daughter gave me the mother's day stuff she had been working on at school. When I picked her up on that friday last year, her teacher wished me a happy mother's day(one of the proudest days of my life). Last mother's day, in protest I wore my "World's Greatest Dad" shirt all day.
This mother's day, daughter gave her mother a card she had made that had her in tears. It was really sweet, she cried every time she read it. I made her breakfast in bed. I totally pampered her in every way I could. At the end of the day, she told me it was the most special mother's day she'd ever had.<p>Well, only 2 more big days from last year that will affect me this year. May 25th, our anniversary day. Last year was ok really, I was with my siblings and kids, we had a great time at the beach. This year will be bittersweet, we are divorced, but together. Not sure if we'll give each other presents, we probably should. <p>And some day late in June will be the last time I ever update this post(I promise [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] ). I'm not sure of the exact day but it will be a little over a year to date that our D was final. This year at that time... well we're getting re-married [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Thanks everybody for your help and good luck to all!<p>TTFN - JB

An inspiration to all of us....<p>You give me great hope. I pray that my story has as happy an ending as yours does, which I might add, it seems to be going that way! Well, not so much an ending, but a great new beginning. <p>God bless you and your family. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by loveherstill:
<strong>An inspiration to all of us....<p>You give me great hope. I pray that my story has as happy an ending as yours does, which I might add, it seems to be going that way! Well, not so much an ending, but a great new beginning. <p>God bless you and your family. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Thank you loverherstill! I feel the same way, it's not so much a happy ending as a great new beginning.. and getting better everyday<p>Good luck!
JB

[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>thanks!!!<p>The fog has rolled out for my XH, and he's really pushing to be friends. The A is over, and he's realizing the mess he's made the past 12 months. Taking things very slow and cautious... I'm not too sure about being friends too quick... but it's nice to see the fog really giving him a break.<p>At this point, I don't want to be where you are now, but you probably weren't sure you wanted it either, right?

Dude!! What brand of harddrive are you using??!! Western Digital are the WORST (from my experience)...and Seagates not much better. I go with Maxtor and always with their 3 year warranty. Only had to send back 2 in the last 5 years or so. Sent back and pitched well around 50 Western Digitals.<p>Congrats on the rest anyway! I got a good dose of what I'd been dishin out too, and it brought me around big time. It's unfortunate that it has to come to that sometimes.

Hey faith1 and hope4future!<p>Faith1:
My ex wanted to be "friends" too... I refused totally. Friends?!? What kind of friend treats their friends like she did me? No thanks, I wasn't going to be her friend and watch her move on, get close to someone else and seek my approval on it. Yes eventually(after years), the hard feeling would have passed and I could have seen her as a friend(maybe). But that is not at all what I wanted. I wanted to be civil with her, for the kids sake, but besides that I didn't want anything to do with her. I simply loved her too much to be an outsider looking in.<p>And yes, when we started seeing each other again, I wasn't sure at all if I should do it, or if I even wanted it. She started hinting around that she wanted to start seeing me agian. For weeks I refused any contact(besides doing the kid shuffle). But one night out of the blue she called. We had a very nice and flirty conversation. I went against my better judgement and asked her if she wanted to come by, this was at about 1:00am. She came over, we were very "friendly" with each other, then she went home. The next day, I emailed her the lyrics to "In My Life", I told her that it was probably stupid for us to do what we did the night before, but I really enjoyed being with her. She responded with tears in her email and I knew then that the fog was lifting in a big way. I did not push anything, I played hard to get for weeks. Even went off with a girl I was seeing, and the emotion she showed me then, convinced me that the ball was now in my court. I was very careful to not get my hopes up, but after she had stayed with me for a few weeks, she proposed to me. And the rest in history in the making... we're getting remarried June 28th or 29th in New Orleans. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>hope4future:
The original HD I lost was the drive that came with my Mac clone. Not sure of the brand but it was over 6 years old, so it served me well.
The replacement drive was an IBM Ultrastar. The first IBM drive I received died when I formatted it the first time. The replacement drive for that one was always flakey and died about a year later. Luckily I have 2 drives hooked up at all times, the replacement was my systems disk, so I didn't loose anything important. <p>Thanks for the congrats! <p>
Thanks to all and good luck!<p>TTFN - JB

Thanks kb!<p>I'm trying to find my comfort zone here. I guess I'm toooooo nice... but I AM trying to keep some distance at the same time. I reminded him of the Plan B letter, and I set "conditions", I guess you'd say, last night for our friendship. No contact with OW (he assures me it's over), him in counseling for himself (he starts tomorrow), and him holding up his end of the D agreement (or else, what kinds of friend is that). He assured me he understands, and is determined to work on himself, and only wants to be in my life if it's ok with me. He's remorseful, coming clean with some stuff about the OW, and seems to be working hard to get his life straight.<p>AND I'm determined to keep moving with my life.<p>Thanks for sharing with us!!! Good luck to you, and hang around here from time to time, k?

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Faith1:
<strong>AND I'm determined to keep moving with my life.<p>Thanks for sharing with us!!! Good luck to you, and hang around here from time to time, k?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Hey Faith!<p>Keep doing what you're doing! Keep moving! It's the best thing you can do(as I'm sure you know).<p>As far as me hanging around here... I can't help myself... it's a habit. For a while this place was a trigger for me, but not anymore. I continually learn from other's experiences here. And this is the ONLY place I have to express my happiness with my recovered WS. My family HATES her and hates me for loving her.. but that's a topic for a different thread [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>TTFN - JB