Wife calls on her way home (I put our son to sleep and go to apt. after she gets home) asking if I would sit down so we can draw up a list of Pros and Cons of us being together.<p>I figure it can't hurt and maybe this is her way of reaching out to me. Well she says let's just put down some ideas about what we think the good and bad of being together are.<p>I put down that we make a great team, we're a complete family when we're together, we could finally actually let go of the past pain and reach out to one another, stuff along those lines. Cons were along the lines of we would have to be vulnerable to one another, that the past might haunt us.<p>Her pros? Security. Health Insurance. Not having to shovel or mow the lawn. Flexibility (money). When she went over her Pros I just went blank outside and in. We talked some after that but she would bring up things about the past and I finally told her that I made a promise to myself not to beat her over the head about the past especially since I'm moving back in. I told her I would appreciate the same. She has already made plans for both nights this weekend to be out with her friends. She caught herself when she told me "Oh did we have something planned for Friday?". I just wished her a good time and walked out. I don't think I'll be able to work this whole Plan A thing, I really don't.<p>I'm moving back in and putting plans in place to have her out in a short period of time unless something drastic changes. How can I still have feelings for someone like that? I just don't get it, why do I still even want her in my life?

Give it time, how long have you been in plan a?

Truth be told I won't REALLY be on plan A until I move back into the house, which is this weekend. I know I'm being impatient and I am going to work on that but I've been stung so many times in such a short time that it makes me wonder if I WANT to do a Plan A.<p>*sigh*

I think my ws, my h, likes the sex, my cooking, and the fact that I wash his clothes... great huh? He also likes the money I make... now that I have a new job.<p>Hugs to you... I know we were once the love of their lives,,... what happened....? Read some of the posts, and work hard on you. Are you in Individual counseling, that is helping me so much. You need support. Keep coming here and working on you.<p>Hugs, HONEY

Have you read SAA (Surviving an Affair) - in the example the WW comes back not because she wants to but because she was dumped by OM. But they made a stronger marriage.<p>You have to just realize that WW is not in love right now, but that doesn't mean she can't be if she follows the path to recovery.<p>Plan A is HARD - not for wimps. So you have to have a strong support system, and spend time taknig care of yourself nad keeping busy while you are waiting for A to end or for WW to start noticing changes in you that you're making so that she wants to return and work on marriage.<p>Stay strong. K