My WW uses the PC every night and when she is done she usually deletes the history and closes the browser. Last night she deleted the history, but left the browser open.<p>Not sure if it is the fog or not. I hit the back button a few times and low and behold, she also forgot to close down her e-mail. There right in front of me was an e-mail thread between her and OM. She is moving out in 2 weeks and she was telling him only 15 days to go and that she loved him.<p>She has been telling me that she has made no decision about us and that she will be using this time apart to think about things (and obviously see him).<p>Do you think she is lying? meaning that she has made her mind up but does not want to tell me? Do I lose any hope I have here?<p>Do I tell her I saw the e-mail or just keep it to myself? <p>I am so confused. I love her so much and want to have my family back. She apparently doesn't know what she wants (or at least is telling me that).<p>DD<p>7/01 - dday
M - 12 years
Know each other 20 years
3 kids (9,7,4)

DD-<p>Bumping this up for some other advice.<p>W probably is telling you the truth, at least that part of the truth that she wants you to hear. Yes, she is undecided about you two and yes, she probably is going to use the time apart to think. Unfortunately, it looks like she is going to be doing her 'thinking' with OM. Is she moving in with OM, or getting her own place?<p>I don't remember (I'm getting old, ya know) reading any of your other posts. You say DDay was 7/01, what has been going on since then? <p>My 2-bits worth of advice is to protect your kids from OM. Personally, I would refuse to let them see this guy, that would be a definite boundary. If W is moving out, then you have primary custody of the kids, you should look at your legal options and consider filing separation papers just to protect yourself and the kids. There is no reason why you should support W while she is living this lifestyle. I don't see this as an LB, its protection, plain and simple.<p>As far as telling W about the email and what she says, I would confront her with it, IMHO. If she has been lying to you about her plans, then she needs to be held accountable for it. <p>Sorry to say, but if she is going to continue with the A, there is not much you can do. Just take this time to be a great father, improve yourself, keep doing your best Plan A and let OM make all the LB's, because you know that once they get together in the 'real' world, its gonna happen.

own place -<p>bumping up for more advice pls

lhs - thanks for the response.<p>She is getting her own apt about 4 or 5 miles from the house. The kids will share time with each of us.<p>Since I found out, I have been plan A'ing and we started seeing a MC just before Christmas. She says she will continue going. Feels that this is the next step as nothing has changed for her. My comment is, of course nothing has changed as she is still in A with OM.<p>I have sent her e-card, regular cards, letters and flowers. She reads them and them puts them under a pile of papers on my desk. Not sure what that means. I say are you giving them back to me. She says, that is just where she is keeping them. She told MC in front of me that these things "bother" her. So I have put a halt to it for now. I'm thinking she is viewing it as a LB.<p>She says OM has nothing to do with her feelings that have changed for me. She says people change. Mind you, I am no Robert Redford but I do have a lot to offer as far a companionship and security. I have tried to be affectionate, but she does not want intimacy from me now. We have a beautiful home and kids, etc. Her sisters are actually jealous of her and what we have and she is willing to throw this all away.<p>Those that know about this in her family are totally against it - but that doesn't matter to her either. I really think that WW thought her family would support her. I don't play on that at all. I just know I have their support. I am careful.<p>I am doing my best to keep my head together. I do not know though how I am going to handle her leaving. I still love her with all my heart and want her back. Her family does not understand how I can. I say, "I just love her and made a commitment to be with her forever". Unfortunately, she does not seem to want to keep up her end of the bargain.<p>I really do not know what else to do.<p>DD

Bumping for needed advice. DD sorry you are going through this.