For anyone who doesn't know my story, my 34 year old husband recently had an affair with an 18 year old girl. She is out of the picture now, but we are struggling. I have been in Plan A and continue. We are in counseling, but except for that, he has refused to talk about it. Well last night, he finally decided he was ready to talk and this is what he told me. He had a very bad childhood. His mother left him when he was 4. From 6-9 he was in a children's home. His father remarried twice - both disasters. He rebelled, started drinking, doing pot and stealing cars. At 19 he wound up in prison where he remained for 5 years. He got married while in prison - a big mistake. Then he wound up with me. We have been together 8 1/2 years - most of it incredibly happy. By the way, I knew all of the above, it was nothing new to me.
He now says he doesn't know who he is. He feels like he never had a life - didn't date as a teenager, missed out on his early twenties because of prison. He says OW made him feel young again. He wont talk to anyone about it - counseling is out. He says he could not have told me if he didn't love me so much. He says that is the one thing he is sure of - that he loves me and wants to stay with me. But he has to "find out who he is". He says he is in some kind of early mid-life crisis. He wants me to be patient and understanding while he is on this search for himself. (in other words, put our marriage on hold). <p>So what do you think?? Do I keep Plan A going while he searches for himself?? Am I wrong to feel like he is a very selfish, self centered person?? What about our kids during his "search"? Or is all this bull s--t???<p>Please help me. I don't know what to do.<p>So what do you think.<p>I am going to post this in General Questions as well. I need all the input I can get!!
