Well, I know that OM is heading out of state on vacation with brothers and Dad early Friday morning and not returning till late Monday nite. WW saw him this past Mon but OM told her he won't be able to see her again until he returns (next Monday nite) which will probably be Tues. No physical contact for 7 full days. Probably very limited phone or internet contact for 4 full days....hmmmmm. Also know OM is closing tomorrow on house he tells WW is "hers". <p>My goal will be to love WW as much as I can over the next 5 days w/o seeming desperate. I'll also be sensitive to fact that she will be going thru a mini-withdrawal-as she usually sees OM on Thursdays and Mondays and talks to him somehow over weekends.<p>But I'm sure there will be big reunion planned for Tues. I was thinking I'd wake up Tues morning and decide to stay home from work. Is this a major LB? I know WW will probably resent it. Could also cause some kind of disruption of thier plans that might dangerously expose A to kids.<p>Maybe I should just take what I'm given-a full weekend to spend totally with WW-and leave it at that.<p>Advice? Comments?

Boppo, I know this is hard... but you just gotta give up the need to control and manipulate the situation...<p>As long as you are doing things to 'get her' to do something else or to 'interfere' with her ability to be with OM... you are going to lose...<p>DO WHAT YOU DO FOR YOU! Look for the peace and joy in your life... Look for your blessings... <p>... and I recognize that what I am saying is difficult... I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE... but a good friend (SnL) told me that as long as I kept the cuffs and chains on and played warden... that is how I would be seen. (Actually he didn't say it quite like that...)<p>... repeat after me...<p>1. NO RELATIONSHIP TALKS.
2. NO AFFAIR TALKS.
3. NO ANGRY OUTBURSTS.
4. NO SELFISH DEMANDS.
5. NO CRITICAL JUDGMENTS.
6. LIVE AND LET GOD.<p>Hugs,<p>Cali

Boppo,
I've been there too, but, I'm probably more ornery than Cali. If you have the ability to take a vacation day, I don't see the problem in taking it on the day the OM is returning to home. You aren't forcing her actions/behavior one way or another, you may be inconveniencing her, but, having an affair is a darned "inconvenient" [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] thing to do. I don't see this as warden behavior, you can stay home and she can give you the same alibi & disappearance as she would have if you'd been at work.<p>Sometimes a ray of reality slices right across that fog. The problem with SNL's advice is that he doesn't know how it is to come OUT of the fog.<p>Whichever you do, do follow through with Plan A these days the OM isn't around. Have some fun, and I agree totally with Cali's 1-6.