Well I've finally hit the point where I think I can implement a Plan A but it will be my version of it. Not sure if this is a bad thing or not but here is what I plan to do.<p>I move back into the house this weekend. Planning to basically take over the basement but also be out of the house alot when she is home, working out doing some other things. No LBing (still comes hard for me as I am still finding things around the house). Going to try and show her the changes that I've been making.<p>I'm going to give her room to hang herself as well. I have a strong feeling that she continues to talk to OM. I am documenting her abusive behavior (should have done that long ago) but I am not going to push her into it. So I am going to gather information on any activity she has with him and compile into a file in case I need it to protect myself. She's a very unstable woman and it seems to be getting worse. I AM willing to work on things but she's not there, nor do I have much hope that she will come around. Thus I am taking steps to protect myself and my son.<p>I'm not sure if you all remember the part about her kissing my friend when we went to visit him in Seattle. It's coming out now that she may very well have made that entire thing up. Perhaps it was a way to try and push me over the top, make me walk away so she could keep the house and rebuild there for herself and even OM. I don't know anymore but I do know that I am moving ahead. I have a job lined up for my layoff (I think,if not Ill get one) and I am going to take the first week of it to get down to the courthouse and get the paperwork started for our Divorce. Going to try and do it without getting into legal battles but I will go there if I must. I would do it regardless if not for the cost involved, we're in bad shape right now when it comes to money.<p>Anyhow that's my plan, any thoughts?<p>[ January 31, 2002: Message edited by: Seeking_Guidance ]</p>

Seeking_Guidance,<p>Good plan A. However why filing a Dv ?. Do it when you are ready w/ plan B. What is the rush ?. Filing Dv could be an LB.

To be honest with you redhat I AM ready for a Plan B but we're not in a financial position to do it. I really don't want to prolong this thing and filing now might be a LB but if things change we can put that on hold. I have almost no hope for reconcillitation at this point, even is she does have a change of heart.<p>With any luck she can have her own place in a month, sooner if she flips out again. I just want to be alone so I can nurse my wounds, right now the wounds are just being reopened on a daily basis.

Seeking_Guidance,<p>I am at that point to awaiting for financial mess. It is actually easier to stay in plan A ... you expect nothing. Only holding yourself to no LB. W/ your plan A you should be able to walk away and take a break from her. You need more to document for your custody battle anyway. IMHO, wait for a few incident the you could use, then file for sole custody w/ solid prove (don't know if your states allows it, CA does). Defer Dv filing, let her file it.<p>[ January 31, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>