What about this day for us BS'ers whos WS is still in the "A" and in-love with them ? Do we still get the gushy I love you my Dear Wife cards..even when we know they will get the same type card for the OP ???? <p>What is anybody elses plans for this ? I might just skip it...hell i know she ain't in-love with me..although i do think she does love me. At least she says she does....of course that is IF she isn't lieing about that too....<p>Sarcasm...yea probably. urrrrrrrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh

Sad Daddy,<p>good question!!!!<p>I finally found a card from American Greeting - It only talked about my love for him. It didn't say any of the "your so great and wonderful, blah blah, blah"<p> I plan on being low key & not sure I'm going to give it to him.<p>My oldest son said he would be my Valentine.
He's a great young man but it's not the same.<p>What I long for and what I have seem so for apart.My only hope is in God.

Hey why send her anything?<p>If she says anything about why you didn't give her anything, just respond calmly that you were going to but thought otherwise because the OM is now the one she is in love with and vice versa, and that you thought it was inappropriate to send her a valentines day card and get her in trouble with OM. She may agree that you are right but deep inside she may be heartbroken that her H did not give her anything for valentines day.<p>Joe

I think you should get a card or SOMETHING, perhaps not a mushy I love you one if you are not at that stage, but if you are trying to win your wife back and she is still with the OM, HE will most likely give her something eh? I think if you did not give her anything EVEN if she says she does not want anything, it would be one more example in her mind (subconcious or otherwise) why her marriage isnt as good as her A. Just thoughts.<p>Remember Plan A. Do your best to improve yourself and to meet all her emotional needs.<p>You are still her husband unless you are divorced and if she is sad that her H did not get her anything, that is a LB which you are trying to avoid now.<p>[ February 01, 2002: Message edited by: HangingIn ]</p>

How about just some flowers and a simple card that says "I love you"?

Last year for Valentines Day I gave my husband a South Park DVD (a TV show that I loudly objected to many times in the past) and this Plan A letter:
<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>
My beloved husband,<p>This is the most romantic gift I could imagine giving you this Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t fall into the “love” category of flowers, chocolates, lingerie and perfume; but none of these things would have had the meaning that this South Park DVD does for me.<p>I know that in the past I have complained about many of your pastimes, not because they took time away from the children and me, but because I didn’t think it was “appropriate”. I now know that it is not for me to judge, to correct or to selfishly demand that you change yourself to suit my ideals.<p>With this gift comes my most heartfelt promise: To respect your tastes and your interests, and to refrain from judging you. I love you, as you are, not as someone that I think you should be. <p>Your loving wife,
BR
<hr></blockquote><p>Maybe with some serious soul searching, you can find some way of doing something similar. I spent alot of time going over the LoveBuster form, after changing the questions so that they read something like: "How many times a week do YOU (BR) react in Angry Outbursts towards H? What do you do when you do this?<p>So in the end, that was what I came up with, something to show how much I recognized my own contributions to the breakdown of our marriage, and how I intended to repair it.<p>This didn't demand or expect anything in return, and didn't offer love that was unwanted by my H.

On another thread I think someone said Hallmark has cards for our type of situations, so I'm going to check there first to see if anything "feels" right.