Well, here is yet another scummy thing my H has done. The other day I was checking bills and found a Discover charge from Dec 6 from a jewelry store and another one from "Love is in the Air". I was going to try to forget about it to keep with plan A, BUT....he called me and started asking about charges on our debit card (which were all things for the kids). So, the more I thought about it, the angrier I got. I called him and asked him about those two charges. At first he said he didn't what I was talking about, so I pursued it. I told him how much the charges were for and the dates of the purchases. He finally admitted that he bought her a watch for Christmas and bought her kids some incense holders and sticks. I did good, though. I just said OK, I'll talk to you later, just wanted to check those out. then I hung up and cried. Last night I saw him at one of our nieces birthday parties. I said hello to him but kept my distance the rest of the night. It was awful. Every fiber of me felt disgust for this man I loved so deeply. He has put me and our children through so much pain. Maybe if all of this wasn't happening right next door to me and if this wasn't hurting our children, I would be able to keep to a better plan A, but with the situation the way it is, it is just impossible. Thanks for reading this. Just needed to vent a little.
BH

Sorry I dont have much time to post.
But I wanted to say you did and are doing awesome. Dealing with this is HUGE, don't discount your efforts for a minute. <p>HUGS<p>-HI.

Hey great job not pulling a LB! that takes real guts to do it, YAY!

Thanks HI and and DS. You are right...it is difficult not to LB and if it weren't for my kids, I probably would LB much more! Everytime something new happens I think of how my reaction will affect the kids and it stops me from doing or saying something horrible. Then I think maybe I should start saying exactly how I feel about his actions so he would know how much he is hurting us. I don't know anymore which is the right direction to take. I wish I could think of a way to let him know how I feel without destroying the little (very little) progress I have made so far. Plan A has definitely helped me become a better person...without it, I probably would have said or done something horrible which would have made stoop to his level.
Thanks again for the responses and making me feel better about my actions.
BH

You sound incredively poised.. keep it up and he just might see how wonderful you are... do not give up yet! I know you have filed, right, and he is next door with the you know what... but he will start to see... just have faith.<p>GO plan a and take care of you!<p>Hugs, HONEY

Thanks Honey, Iwill try. It is sooooo very hard, but I am going to keep trying. I did go to the lawyer, but I haven't actually filed yet. I am trying to make sure that financially I will be OK. Hopefully next week, I will be in a position to put money down for a retainer. thanks again Honey. I hope you are doing OK too!
BH

Hi again, I know he does not deserve you anymore.. .and saw in one of your other posts.. that you are starting to lose your love, how couldn't you with him being so in your face?<p>I know that plan b , can help you save the little love you have left.. by staying away from him... so maybe that will work in this case.<p>My prayers are with you, and I am sorry he has been soooo STUPID.astay strong, you never know, this is not over yet... YOu are doing good plan a!!! or b, whatever it is.. NO LB's... good for you!<p>Hugs, HONEY

One more thought came to mind... <p>what would Jesus do... you are doing it!! yea, bh! I am sorry for your situation, but you are doing well, keep the faith.<p>HONEY

Gosh...
I bet that shut him up, huh? Here he is questioning you about spending money on your kids and he's out there buying stuff for OW and HER kids. UGH!<p>I think you were beyond composed. My prayers are with you in this incredibly difficult situation. I also pray that your husband would hear from GOD HIMSELF and SEE exactly what he is choosing to do to his own family by acting this way! Obviously he is not in his right mind! And OW???? What is SHE thinking...<p>I'm going to pray that they both have nightmares every night. *sigh* [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] Okay, that's not nice. But it sure is tempting... yikes...

Thanks Honey and BTDT,
Honey....I am trying to Plan B, but it has been difficult. With him next door, his family asking me to go to parties constantly (I have only been to one since Oct., which was last Friday), and his having access to the house, it has been a semi-plan B. I hope this will save whatever love is left, but only time will tell. <p>BTDT....You are right, it is tempting to wish nightmares on both of them!! I also pray that he will somehow see what he is doing to our family. The pain that he is inflicting on our children is unforgivable. They are handling everything with such dignity, it is amazing me. They haven't shown any anger towards him or even talked with him about it (which sometimes I wish they would so he would know they are hurt..if that makes sense) I just wish I could move away and get far away from the two of them. <p>Well, anyway, thanks everyone for the kind words and the awesome support. I appreciate it!
BH