No I'm still here, I wasnt sure quite how popular this thread would be. Wow, its amazing and admittedly a bit disheartening about the length of time you folks have gone. Though I while I've only been without a month so far, I should get some "pity points" for the fact that Im a male in my mid twenties and heck been married only 7 months. Shouldnt I be having more "fun" than this?! I can count the number of times we've had sex since we've been married on 2 hands and still have fingers left over. Its possible the OM has had more SF than I have with my wife since married. hows that? I hate all this.<p>SF is one of my top 5 not near the top but still it is important.

I'm posting again because I note that alot of the posts have come from women. In my life experience, it seems very easy for a woman to have SF with husband, since most husbands I know would never refuse. Having said that, is ityour own choice not to have SF with WH, perhaps because they might still be with OW?<p>In my situation, I maintain that I do not want to have SF with my WW, until we are restored,I know our marriage is "real", and OM is out of the picture. But if she were to offer, I doubt, after 6 months of abstinence, that I could refuse.<p>P.S. She ain't offering. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Boppo57:
<strong>I'm posting again because I note that alot of the posts have come from women. In my life experience, it seems very easy for a woman to have SF with husband, since most husbands I know would never refuse. Having said that, is ityour own choice not to have SF with WH, perhaps because they might still be with OW?<p>In my situation, I maintain that I do not want to have SF with my WW, until we are restored,I know our marriage is "real", and OM is out of the picture. But if she were to offer, I doubt, after 6 months of abstinence, that I could refuse.<p>P.S. She ain't offering. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] </strong><hr></blockquote><p>Well my answer is sort of 2 fold, my STBX only wanted the OW, but then I never tried which now that I think about it is something he threw back at me once, oh well. but SF is not high on my needs but that may have more to do with STBX than me, I have only been with him so maybe he wasn't such a great loss [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>however as I never except to be with anyone again, it is just something that I don't try & not think about very often

It's certainly not my choice! Actually, that was a little tongue-in-cheek, because I really do not think that I could have SF with H at this point due to his total inability to provide me with affection, and the fact that the last time we did, he told me that he was just checking to see if he still had feelings for me. Ah that's my H - Mr. Romance! LOL Sorry, just venting.
[img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]

As I said, it was not my choice. SF is near the top of EN's for me. Is for many women. <p>In our case it was a way for him to punish me for not being perfect. That's what he told me. Until I fulled his list of required changes in myself there would be no SF.. but everytime I made a change he'd add 2 or 3 more inperfections to the list.<p>It worked well for him, because he could always find one or more s***ts who were more then willing to the him (after all as a doc he's a good catch right?). So he got his SF's filled and got to play his nasty game at home too.

Well, I am not a BS, but it's been so long I thought I would post anyway! It's about 10 months since my W and I had SF. <p>Firstly, she just isn't all that interested in SF, and second, as we are working on re-establishing our relationship, she doesn't want any SF until she feels more comfortable with intimacy. <p>I have been working very hard for the last 10 months to be a model husband, but it feels like forever. Also, I have been on a regular exercise program for the last 6 months and the testosterone levels are hitting all time highs!<p> I'll never know when the "blessed event" will happen, but I'm trying to take it one day at a time... Sure is hard though. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

..<p>[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: HangingIn ]</p>

It wasn't by choice!!<p>I even tried once, and was told that that had never been our problem, at this point he wasn't getting it from OW, so never did figure that one out.<p>Dawn<p>Hanging In, glad to see you back with us!!!

No prob. here. I've got the situation well 'in hand' and 'beaten' [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Joe<p>[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: justanotherjoe ]</p>

Let me get this straight...gourami is having a really "hard" time, but Joe has the situation in hand???<p>ROFLOL<p>::::::::::wiping tears of laughter from eyes::::::::<p>Thanks, I needed that!

Z, you mind?<p>Elad, the difference is that Z was in an extensively abusive relationship which she was forced to stay in against her will. <p>None of our WS's are in that situation. They are not FORCED to stay with us and are desperately trying to stay sane while their self respect drains daily. I can only imagine what that was like, and to know someone, anyone loves you and that you ARE important and special to someone... I don't know, maybe it would have been better than to live like that.<p>And I am a supreme advocate against affairs myself. <p>Even if it is an exit affair, the WS leave of their own free will. Even as the BS, few of us here can relate and as we are actually TRYING to save our marriages, big no-no.<p>The difference is miles and miles apart. Z, I understand and acknowledge you are probably right. The emotional hell that man put you through is too hard to find words for. But, you'll never know, it could have totally caused your H to go ballistic and do even more harm. <p>Doesn't matter now, cuz' you have StL to fill that role, right???<p>So, I'll stop talking now and hopefully get back to a more funnier topic...<p>Just felt like chiming in. Hope you don't mind.<p>I am utterly amazed that some of you have gone that long without SF... boggles the mind.<p>Mr. Buzzy... ROTFL. Jo, you figured that out by now, right?<p>HbH

Joke on the same lines: <p>Did you hear the one about the guy who OD'd on viagra? <p>
It took three people to close the coffin.<p>
=)

[img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

[img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I believe that all of you who are <ahem> getting your needs met, should have some sympathy and respect for the rest of us, and abstain for at least 3 months or so. It'll toughen you up and make you appreciate it even more!!!<p> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by Faith1:
[img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I believe that all of you who are <ahem> getting your needs met, should have some sympathy and respect for the rest of us, and abstain for at least 3 months or so. It'll toughen you up and make you appreciate it even more!!!<hr></blockquote><p>
I SECOND that motion. I'd like to take it one step further and say it should be a requirement for all MB members. Keep you guys from taking it for granted, and good test of will power. [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jo

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>
I SECOND that motion. I'd like to take it one step further and say it should be a requirement for all MB members. Keep you guys from taking it for granted, and good test of will power. <http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/images/icons/rolleyes.gif><p>Jo
<hr></blockquote><p> [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] ::::::::::hiding Buzzy's spare batteries behind my back:::::::::: Uh, you were just talking about the "real" thing, weren't you Jo???

You, my dear friends, are hilarious [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>And I third that motion.. (unless things change Valentine's day for me, then all bets are off) [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]

I dont know if SF is actually on my wifes list. At times it has been months, other times hours. Currently at 6.5 weeks, but who is counting.

You are [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img]