Well I had planned to move back in yesterday however having seen how upset my wife is about it and how it is affecting my son (Had to drop him off because she was yelling and he was crying) I agreed to finish out my lease after all (more stress on me now because I don't have the money but this is best for my Son so this I will do).<p>Wife and I had a good talk last night, watched a movie after we put our son to bed. She is very clear that she wants out of the marriage but wants to retain a good relationship. She is looking into securing a loan to get a place to live, we're going to start seeing separate counselors etc. I feel alot better about things and am going to do my best to stop snooping etc. Confessed that I had her passwords and checked her email.<p>We had planned to go to a concert on the 4th and she asked me if I thought it was a good idea. I told her I would think about it, she doesn't want me to get false hope out of it. I'm torn because I would like to go and have a good time with her but I know that it will give me some hope for the future even though she is adamant about where she wants to be. Do you think this is a good idea? Should I avoid anything that gives me the idea that she might come to me someday?<p>Also, she hasn't cut off ALL contact with the OM but they don't see each other romantically. I gave in and looked over the computer today, she sent him an email saying she would pick up her resume from him sometime this week, as if she asked him to print it for her. Her printer is down, as is mine, and she could print it at work but I thought she might not want them to see her doing that. So it could very well be an innocent thing but I'm not so sure. Everything she's told me so far has been true for the most part but she hasn't mentioned this. I ask myself if I even have the right to question her about it since we're steering towards divorce, I'm really making an effort to allow us to move through this with no more conflict. Not sure what, if anything, I should do there. Any advice on that part from the veterans here?

HI, heres my plan a advice.. GO to the concert , and do not mention marriage or anything except talk non marriage , om, and love, etc... have fun! Do not get false hopes.. let her see you can go and not get false hopes... that is if you are plan aing.. maybe you have some false hope... that is OK, but do not let her KNOW><p>Also, do not let her know about cking email, you can as you need to ... for your sake, but do not tell her... big LB... <p>go ahead and let her steer for divorce, but she may change her mind, you know? do not give up,a nd keep up plan a.. there is a time for plan b, and I do not think it is when she is asking you out...!!!<p>
Hugs and luck to you, HONEY

Also, when My h talkes of wanting the D, I say you know I do not want that... and I want to svae and rebuild a new marriage.. when you are ready...you can have tiem... etc... Do not push, be open..<p>I try to change subject.. then he starts to talk of getting back together at time... funny! a few months ago he was adamant on divorce.. just don't talk about it... but if pushed ... say that is not in your wishes..<p>GOOD LUCK! HONEY

honey,<p>Took your advice, went ahead and arranged it so we can go to the Concert together. Gonna be an interesting night, 3 hour drive to get there. Might get a room if it gets late.<p>It will certainly get my hopes up but I know she's pretty set on where she wants to be. It's really hard to Plan A, I'm learning this now. In my situation, even though they're relationship is over it's not much comfort because she wants to be out of the marriage anyway. Ah well, I've told myself I am doing this for my sons sake, no more LBing. I am going to be bittersweet, though sometimes the sadness washes over me and I have a hard time hiding it.<p>Thanks for your advice honey.

If she backs out at the last minute, go anyway. Find someone to go with. Pull the old 180 and see how she responds. Start taking care of YOU.