Thanks Lizzle for asking about me. It's so great to have you all here for me...you too Sing and Jo!!<p>I'm in my new apartment, everthing's unpacked, pictures on the wall, ALL DONE!!! <p>It's pretty scary, but I know it's where I need to be right now. My H proved it by bringing OW by our house this afternoon!! No I didn't see them, but one of my girls' friends was leaving here and saw him and OW driving down the street towards our house....my daugher called her dad and ripped into him! See, he'd promised her and ME that he would never bring OW to our house (the closing is 2/28, he moves out 3/1). He claimed he was out running errands with her, and wanted to show her the apartment he'd be living in next month. I KNOW I should not let this get to me, but I GREW UP HERE, THIS IS MY TERRITORY, OW STAY THE HE** AWAY FROM HERE!! She lives 25 miles away. Why couldn't he just run the dam* errands with her by HER place??? So of course, I had to give him crap (dam* ME!) At the end of the conversation I told him that I was sorry, it was none of my business. I plan NOT to talk to him again until we close on the house.<p>I've told the kids unless they need to tell me something important about their dad, if they find this stuff out again, just keep it to themselves, or talk to their dad about it. I've also told them that when their dad calls, I'll step out of the apartment so if he asks if I'm there, they can truthfully tell him "no." <p>What I totally don't understand is how this man can think I can be his friend right now???? Are they truly on another planet when they're going through this????<p>Anyway, the move went fine, I managed to hold it together emotionally until this afternoon (YEAH ME!!)<p>My new life is beginning. I continue to pray for my H, for God to turn his heart back to where it belongs....but now I'm not living specifically FOR that result. Whatever GOD wants for me, I'll do!!<p>Love you all!!!<p>PEACE,<p>MOM

You know you have done one of the hardest parts, going through stuff dealing with it.<p>There will be plenty of down times but you can do it. <p>You are lucky you have lots of friends, people pulling for you. <p>Remember he is the loser here not you.

Thanks Sing!!<p>You are so right. I WILL get through this and he IS the loser right now!<p>I'm going out with one of my oldest, dearest girlfriends now, so I'll be back on tomorrow.<p>MOM [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

MOM,
Hope you had a great evening out with your friend, you certainly deserve it. Sounds like you are doing a good job taking care of yourself. Hope your kids are doing OK, I have 18 year old twin boys, isn't it an experience!

MoM,<p>I am glad to hear that the packing and moving went well. Well done!<p>As for your H, I certainly could not have kept cool in the circumstances. Your H is being such an a** these days that he can't even see what an a** he is being. Sorry, had to vent a little about him.<p>Have a wonderful first week in your new pad. The sane environment (without a Fogged WS) will do you all a lot of good, I am sure of it.<p>Hugs,<p>OneDay

MOM,<p>I am very impressed with your determination. Glad your move is made. I think your decision not to talk to H is wise. He is still fogged in and there is nothing anyone can do. Sure hope he keeps his word about having OW in the house.<p>Take care,
Estes

MoM,<p>Thank you for letting us know you're doing good. Been thinking about you.<p>You are so right, avoid all contact with your H. Do whatever is necessary to follow thru with Plan B.<p>As far as that "lets be friends or chit chat buddies" thing ... ughhhh! I got the same bloody thing from x-H. My therapist said x-H can't handle the guilt so to appease his conscience he tries his best to pretend we are friends, and acts accordingly. <p>I will pray that your H will quickly see what life completely without you will feel like. That his heart will soften and good memories of you and him will consume him.<p>Love to you MoM.<p>Jo

Thanks for checking in with us. I have been checking the board yesterday and today to see if you made it ok. I know that that was really hard, but you are doing great! I'm impressed that you told the kids NOT to tell you things like that if they knew them. THIS is progress.<p>I'm sure that as bad as it was to hear that he was with the OW close to your house, it was confirmation to you that you are doing the right thing!<p>Take care.

MoM,<p>Congratulations on the new digs!!!<p>It is kind of exciting to be on your own and know that you can and will make it!!<p>I've been on my own for almost 6 months now. If I don't feel like picking up the house I don't have to!! And no one is going to call me a slob, well maybe my daughters. he he!!1<p>I even tore my sofa apart and am re-upholstering it, not to quickly mind you, but I am doing it!!<p>MoM, you too will be ok, and so will your kids, they someday will appreciate you for what it is you are doing!!<p>Dawn

MOM, I hope you have a wonderful time in your new place. I'm fighting like hekkies to keep us all together, but if it doesn't work, one of the things I'm looking forward to is actually having a house I want and being able to make it a home. I've never actually had a place that was mine - someone else was always telling me how it should be. Best of luck and much happiness!

Oh, and in answer to the other planet question - yes, they are. My H's first statement after hitting me with the I want a divorce statement was to tell me he had no feelings for me anymore, but wanted to remain friends. *snort* The bad thing is, he's losing reputation with the kids every single day that this goes on. They just keep talking to him, and he keeps telling them the most stupid excuses for not wanting to take responsibility for anything. Then they act up and he starts griping about them not taking responsibility, and I remind him he's not, how does he think they are going to act. ::::::::: [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] ulling out tufts of hair::::::::::

Sounds like you're going to be fine. It's the in limbo part thtat is killing me right now. But you have a new place, and you don't have to talk to your WH (count that as a blassing) and you can focus on you and the kids.<p>If WH is to come around he has to face reality which it sounds like he's doing. It may be fun for a few weeks, but then he's going t oget an eye opener - who knows what OW looks like when she gets up in the morning or what strange rituals or habits she has that will drive WH crazy.<p>The friends thing bothers me too. At first WH wanted to be friends, now he just wants to talk on the phone about when he can see the kids no parenting issues). Weird. <p>I'm on the fence about whether to go back to Plan B. WH didn't take to it too well the first time, and so we're now in divorce court so I can get some stability for the kids. Harley said just do Plan A now that I've filed, but he's hard to deal with and he stresses me out- not good when you are 8 mos. preg. So I'm thinking about Plan B again, but it will just give him another excuse to want to screw me in court.<p>Keep focused, your an example to us all. K

Dear MOM, I applaud you LOUDLY and proudly. You've accomplished one of the most difficult steps of this incredible ordeal. And it's great to hear from you. <p>Keep strong. Post here. We'll be there for you. You'll be in my prayers.

Hugs MOM...<p>I might even be slightly envious of you... only at certain times... like when all three boys start to rompin... <p>Sometimes I just dread those upcoming teenager years... I can just imaging the 'testosterone' battles that will occur... and my boys are going to be HUGE! (My H is 6'4", I am 5'2")... OS, who is just 8 1/2, is already at my shoulder and we can share sneakers [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ! YS who isn't even 3 yet, looks like he's gonna overtake the 6 year old... and the 6 year old isn't little... just normal for his age ...<p>...anyway... enjoy having your own space... I know it's not really what you want (and I wouldn't either), but make the best of it!!<p>Cali

Congratulations MOM,<p>I think you will be much happier....at least it won't be right in your face anymore.<p>You will still have your emotional rollar coaster--but hopefully, you will continue to become stronger and more like the you you used to be. Take Care Pat

Back from my evening out, and thought I'd check in. All I can say is "I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] I am SO grateful to have all of you in my life. Just when I think I've hit a bottom again, there you all are to encourage, and give pats on the back. I feel SO much better. I'm still mad at myself for letting the situation earlier get to me, but I WILL be o.k. Thank you all so very much for caring...<p>Love you guys!!<p>MOM

Ok, none of that talk of "being mad at yourself"...You did GREAT!!!! and you are doing GREAT!!!!! You will just have those times occasionally...just ride them out.<p>Remember, this too shall pass. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]