How do you deal with your emotions.<p>At times I feel so strong and can face everything that come my way head on and then I just go into a slump and feel really down.<p>My children and I had an enjoyable weekend together but I felt so lonely and sad even though I was surrounded by my family.<p>I am starting to feel like a single mother. Since my WS left I've always made sure that I was there when he collected and dropped the children every alternate weekend but with the last visit I made sure that I was not around. This weekend it is his turn again with the children and I am thinking of doing the same again not being around. I just don't want to see him. The hurt of all the lies and deception is returning, the difference this time is that there is no anger just utter sadness. <p>I'm sure this is a normal emotion but I am also afraid that I will detach completely and my give my WS the impression that I am finish with him. (When he left me he told me that I was a strong women and I will get over him quickly - fog thoughts)<p>I am sooooooooooooo confused. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi GinnyF,
I'm nowhere near in your circumstances, but I have experienced the emotional rollercoasters of life and I have found prayer to help me in all difficult situations.<p>I just ask God to help me like He promised through His Comforter.<p>I fight the emotional rollercoaster with faith. Faith is stable. Feelings are fickle.<p>You want to detach from your H because he hurts you so much, yet you still love him so it hurts you even more to see him come around you and the kids, then go on about his life with OW. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] <p>One thing I have been is a single mom. Now that I'm a married mom, I have found, and I have said this before but, sometimes it feels exactly the same! You are not alone in those feelings!<p>My guess is that if you have taken responsibility for your kids through all your husband's fogland living, then you have been doing it all for quite some time and just haven't realized that you are up for this challenge. You have been living it! You are a survivor!<p>I think you should allow yourself to grieve and don't try to suppress it. Perhaps that is what is causing the frequent ups and downs. Just let yourself feel without trying to hide it, if that is what you have been doing? Maybe take some "emotional health" time off work and just give yourself a break, if you can. You deserve it! & keep the faith! {{{{{hugs}}}}}<p>p.s.Another solution is to see your doctor about anti-depressants.<p>[ February 04, 2002: Message edited by: BINthereDUNthat ]</p>

Thanks BinthereDonethat<p>It is so true what you are saying. Because my WS spouse is a businessman and part of his work was always travelling I had to take responsibility for our two daughters. That is also the reason why it was so easy for him to up and go and leave me with all the responsibilities. He told me I should not have a problem coping with the children as I've made such a good job of it whilst he was travelling.
Whenever he was away from home, he would phone three to four times a day enquiring how I was doing, always very caring and concerned. The difference now is, he does not contact me at all. Not even enquiring about the health of the children which he proclaims he love so much.
This is what really hurts.<p>I've put my trust in God and whenever I feel so down I speak to him. I've let go of my WS and my children and I are building a new life for us. I live in a beautiful country and it is summer now. Since January I've been taking the children to see various places of interest and we are also exploring different towns. By doing this I don't sit at home over weekends and mope. The children also love this as it is a complete new experience for them. WS is a TV sport fanatic and spend all weekend watching TV. Now we hardly turn the TV on.<p>I've grown tremendously since D-Day and I have also realised that the marriage that I had was dull and boring, no recreational activities just WS, myself and the kids. Sleep, eat and work. I know now that I don't want to go back to this marriage, I want to go back into my marriage, the person I am now. I've changed. I've grown spiritually, lost a lot of weight and feeling very good about myself. It is too early for WS spouse to see this, he is still so deep in the fog.<p>I walk with God and whenever the going gets tough I ask him to carry me. God has carried me through my darkest moments of dispair. WS took out protection order against me for physical, mental and emotional abuse and it was granted against me. The judge did not even listen to me when I tried to explain the circumstances. When I came home after the court hearing, I spend my afternoon in prayer and since that day I've had a calmness over me which I myself cannot describe.<p>I am actually waiting for the next onslaught but since December there was none. I thank God for that.