It has been 5mos now since my wife told me of her affair with my best friend and I am still plagued with bitterness,anger,resentment, and overall unhappiness. We are going to counseling and reading books and visiting marriage builder's site and attending church regularly but I cannot stop dwelling on the past and the pain I still feel. My wife asks me to look at what we have now and what we have learned through this but I cannot get past the affair. Don't get me wrong there are some good days maybe 2-4 in a row then there is about 3-5 days of bad days where I am angry and say mean things and want answers to things I have already heard before I feel like I build her up on the good days then I knock her down on the bad days. She starts out being encouraging but by the end of the 3 or 4 th day of anger she starts to lose it and becomes bitter to. How can I stop this vicious cycle?

I am in the same situation. My husband recently admitted to his one night stand with a hooker. I know there were other times but I'm not sure it matters. Once was enough. He has seen our priest and has attended an AA Meeting. He is really trying to make an effort. I'm just not sure if he will stick to it. In the mean time, I have to decide whether I want to work at keeping our marriage or just end it. If I can give you any words to go on, it would be this. Keep talking, if not to your wife to somebody. My friends and these on-line sites have been great means of encouragement.<P>Good luck and lots of hugs.