Everyone,<p> I wanted to let everyone know that I am still alive. Things have been hard lately. I really can't stay long. I need to get the kids ready for bed. Talk to you later.<p>Indy

Indy,
I'm so glad you checked in with us. Glad you're hangin in there. Check back in when you get time, k? Lots of us here are rootin for ya!<p>Faith1 [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi Indy,<p>Good to hear from you. Almost send out an S.O.S.!!! [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>L.

Everyone,<p> I know that it has been awhile since I have updated you. Things have been rough lately. Work and the kids have kept me busy.<p> I went to see my son's basketball practice tonight. Guess who was there. That's right my W was there. She visited with my YD for a few minutes and then we left to go look at our new house and start getting things ready to move. I was having problems with my hands again and she carried my YD out to the car for me. She put her in the car and asked me what was wrong. I don't know if it was just friendly consern or if it was something else. She was wearing the ear rings that I bought her for christams for the first time since she has left and she also gave me her new cell number. <p> Maybe you can make some since out of this.<p>Indy<p>[ February 06, 2002: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Hiya Indy,<p>Hm...... well it is always good that she is concerned. What is wrong with your hands? Let her be as concerned as she can be. She wants to shower you with attention or care, let her. Don't beg for it but well.....you know, take it one step at a time. <p>So you are also in the midst of moving? That is stressful in itself. <p>Keep us posted. K? <p>Hugz,
L.

Orchid,<p> Remember when I went to the hospital a couple of months ago? I am still having problems with my hands. I can't hold things sometimes. Like I said. I don't know if it was concern or not? I also find it interesting that she wore those ear rings.<p>Indy

INDY,
Why didn't you ask her at that time and see her reactions and answers ?. Comment or ice breaker like "I see you are wearing those earring, do you like them ?" will do. I would not read to much of it until she makes a definite move in her actions.

Indy,<p>Yes, I do remember. Are you going back to the doctor? Remember to take care of yourself. <p>I'm not a doctor but I had problems with my hands after I had my baby. It turned out to be a major vitamin B deficiency. I am not saying that is your problem but I coudln't hold anything, not even the baby. It was awful. I ended up talking to a doctor in NY City and they were the ones who made the correct diagnosis. My nervous were shot. Eventually I got better. <p>Go to the doctor.....ok?<p>L.

Redhat,<p> Would giving her completments like that break my plan b? It was everything that I could do not to tell her that they looked wonderful.<p>Orchid,<p> Right now I am not going to the doctor. They put me on anti-inflamitory meds. That is suppose to help with the swelling and numbness.<p> I am wondering if she was all made up to get at me or not? I don't know. The ear rings really trhough me for a loop. <p>Redhat and Orchid,<p> I haven't been around lately, so why don't you update me on your situation.<p>Indy<p>[ February 08, 2002: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

INDY,<p>I have the impression that you were talking to W several time already outside regular bussiness. Of course you would not complement her but just ask her and state the fact and see what is her reaction. However since it was past, I would not ask her at all.<p>Have you read CarolKH thread and also read Divorce Busting/remedy book ?. I really think that it work for WS that have no "love" issues w/ BS. Try to "look" move on and see what is her reactions.<p>My situation is the same. I just talk to OM this week, very refreshing. My WW doesn't want file Dv, doesn't want to work on M, doesn't want to solve the financial issues ... I feel sorry for her actually, she doesn't know what she wants. I confirmed that OM is 47 y/o, broke, 2x Dv and live with his mom. She rejects me in anyway she can and I have to be very creative and am not take anything personally. She bought a cell phone and didn't gave me the number, she "dumped" the coffee & breakfast that I make her. Soooo ... I didn't ask her the number any further and I stop cooking breakfast for her, just for my kid. When I cook too much then probably I will try to give it to her some to test the water. My mom told me that "She refuses to be trated like a queen and she wants to be treated like a servant. She choose her own misery". Right now, she just totally lost and want me to push the Dv button. I refuse it for now but I will do it within this year, it is her lost and not mine. I am fine either way w/ or w/o WW. I am stronger now with my Lord and I am learning to help other's in God's way.

good for you redhat! Sorry indy, I have had others telling me of not being able to hold things... my hairdresser has loose joints, and has this issue.// it is kind of like the carpal tunnel you get from too much typing.. but in the wrists for her... and she has braces on her wrists, and has had to go to physical therapy, and be off for 2 months, and now only work 40 hrs a wek... she worked overtime for years... but had loose joints anyone,, and her profession made the issue worse.. I hope you get better, nerves do not help... I hope you get to a doc... maybe you need therapy.. for the hands.. or just rest? I am sure the anti inflamms will help some... I have major back issues and had a big injection yesterday and I am really feeling it today.. I worked 10 hrs today + 3 hrs in commute... I am tired! <p>My spouse is living it up... what was that wedding vow.. in sickness and in health... part of what drove my H away so he says.. is my back and that I was acting old... well we all need love when we are hurt, and i am recovering... I am only 33, and have been sick for 2 yrs.. and I have 2 kids... this was from being rear ended badly.. also the problem aggravated by housework and baby care.. and not enough rest for me...<p>My H is big baby, wants me to always be the caregiver... why should he care for me? Believe me my love is dying..<p>I bet she likes the earrings.. take it as a compliment that she is wearing them.. giving you her phone number, and acting concerned.. these are good signs... but do not let her know you care or over analyze... kudos to you!<p>HONEY

Redhat,<p> I just can't beleive how strong you are. I don't know if I could do it.<p>Honey,<p> That is ok. I don't mind. At the time that is exactly what I thought. It was really nice to think that I wasn't completely a waste of her time. She gave me her number for the kids. I haven't given her my new number yet. I was really wrestling with it. I have a business card that has it and I can just give it to her. I have tought also about telling her that the ear rings really looked good on her. I have been thinking that the consern shown was just the consern that you show someone that you know, but I guess I will have to wait and see.<p>Indy

Indy,<p>I never thought I could do it either but I ask and I receive it, HE promised us [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . Patience is the key ... she didn't gave me her email address, I found it yesterday after 5 months. IMO, I would not complement her about the earring but ask her the reason, keep your guard up.<p>How is the little one doing ? ... spring training ? [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . I have to go to bring 2 D to skating and my W is just walking to join us.<p>Take Care

Everyone,<p> My WW will bring the kids back in alittle while. I am going to give her my card. That would give her my new cell number and my email address. I have really wrestled with telling her about the ear rings, but I have decided not too. I wonder if my moving and doing well with the kids is starting to bother her? I don't know. <p> I hope to be in the new house this time next week. I have also be wrestling with telling her were our new house is. I have thought that we could continue to meet here at my parents' house, but I have also thought about them and they don't need me consintly intruding in their lives like this. What would you do with this?<p>Indy

Hi Indy,<p>My 2 cents is say nothing about the ear rings and let her know about the address. New place without her history there may make her think. <p>You are in plan B right?<p>Hugz,
L.

Orchid,<p> I was in the garage when she dropped off the kids. She was late again. The good thing is that I didnt' have to see her. I didn't get the chance to tell her about the ear rings. <p> On the address thing. Do you really think that it is a good idea? I mean that is my safety zone right. I understand that she should atleast have my cell number, but doesn't it work the same way with them? They don't tell you where they are going. They treat us like we are less than human. They want us to give them every curtousy. I am sorry but none of us here diserve to be treated this way. We may not be perfect, but atleast none of us gave up on our families because it wasn't fun. Sorry, I didn't mean to vent a you like that. Do you understand what I am trying to say?<p> I haven't seen you around lately. Can you bring me up to speed on things in your neck of the woods?<p>Indy<p>[ February 12, 2002: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>

Indy,<p>You decide. If that is your safety zone and the kids can be picked up elsewhere, then that is your decision. Doesn't mean it has to stay that way, but if that is how you want to start it. No one can argue with you otherwise. <p>Of course, you have to have the buy in from the other party and maybe the kids will tell her where their new home is anyway. <p>I know if I moved out, it would be a while before I would tell H where I was. At least that is how I felt as recently as this weekend. Hm.......<p>As for me, well up and down...... smaller roller coaster but that ride is still going on. I tolerate less nowadays maybe that's part of it. <p>PBR has been informed as of last week Monday, not to call anymore. H made a special call to tell her that. She agreed and then called back a few days later. The nut! Guess she gets to keep her title. H did not answer her call but I think she called again this weekend and when I answered she hung up. Can't say for sure but it was from a private #. Next time I might just say "rabbit". [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>He said he is home to stay but now my needs are starting to demand equal time. It is causing a few topics of conversation points. Hm....... <p>Anyway, this I can handle. I am ok. Keep us posted. You will be moving next week so we will wait to hear from you after you settle in. Are the kids excited?<p>Take Care,
L.

Orchid,<p> Today wasn't very good. I started to move our stuff to the house. It was really hard to see the things that were in my home this time last year. <p> My WW went to my son's basketball practice lastnight. I solved the probelm that I had earlier. I just put the business card on the drivers' seat of her van. I guess we will see if she uses it or not. She called and talked to the kids tonight. That made the whole day even more difficult. <p> I am still thinking about telling her about the house. She knows that we will be moving soon, but I just don't know. I guess that is a choice that I need to make here in the near future.<p> I hope that things are going alittle bit better for you. Let me know. I need to go into the office tonight and do alittle bit of work. I will check in later.<p>Indy

Moving and working.....awhhhh Indy we all need to get a life?!?!?!? LOL! <p>Listen moving is stressful in itself. Don't worry about what to tell her now, you can deal with that later when you are ready. If she complains just tell her to stand in line with the other complaints and you'll get to her eventually. Your complaint window needs to have an operating schedule like:<p>Complaint Dept
Operating Hours 1:15pm - 1:30pm <p>LOL! [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img] <p>I am leaving for home now so I may check in on a bit later. k?<p>L.

Orchid,<p> Well, she got the card and emailed me at my work address. I just couldn't talk about it last night. Here is what she said.<p>Indianapolis,

i'm not sure why you left this in the van but, since you did, i will presume that this is how you prefer to have me contact you and that's fine.
I would like to pick up the children this weekend and I know that Christopher has a game on Saturday, though I'm not sure of the time. If you
could let me know I would appreciate it.
There are a couple of things that I would like to say so, please allow me to do that. I have no ill-will towards you or anyone in your family, I
just want to spend as much time with the kids as I possibly can. I live those kids as much as you do and I miss them tremendously!!

I would also like to get my things back ASAP! You have a court ordered agreement that you signed and had sent to my attorney way back in September.
You have repeatedly not fulfilled your part of the agreement pertaining to the prompt return of my personal possesions within 10 days of the filing of that agreement. <p>Please respond to this email by Thursday afternoon! <p>I know that I mean nothing to her and that our marriage didn't either. Thanks for trying to help me. I hope that your situation will get better and that your marriage will make it throught this.<p>Indy<p>[ February 15, 2002: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</p>