Last month i posted that i was giving it another shot and that i had told H that it had to be leave me alone or put in some effort.<p>Well here we are and nothing has changed, H has stayed maybe once a week, Sf has taken place its been good but no romance or kissing during it, no i love you just good SF but i want to feel loved, i want to be kissed!!<p>This morning i asked if he knew yet where his future was, usual answer of i dont know.
tried to talk and got nowhere as is normal, H wont say what his plans are just says he could be happy with OW.<p>So i asked why are you not there then?? he said i dont want to rush into anything!!
Says you threw me out i said yes because you have OW and i could not live with it.<p>I said what i have said loads of times, if you know you can be happier there than we ever were then just tell me and get it over with to that he replied ive never asked you to wait!!
This from the person who said a few months back dont close any doors!!<p>I have just had enough as long as i dont talk about our future, OW or the A and just pretend everything is normal it just ticks along>
H has no intention of ending A and i cant go on as we are.<p>19 months is tooo long to be so unsure of the future, its not fair on me and its not fair on the kids.
I think i have woken up and realised H is not going to do anything for anyone but himself.<p>And while i sit back and let it all ride he is happy, why wouldent he be??
Wife at home not objecting to him running around and doing just as he pleases, and there lapping up any crumbs he may toss my way.<p>I love this man with all my heart and soul but he has not said i love you in any way shape or form since sept 4th 2000 (it was a text message)
When i said that to him he said whatever i say is wrong.<p>Rightly or wrongly i still think if he loved OW with all his heart he would not have been sleeping with me, maybe before i kicked him out in sept yes but since then i think not.<p>Anyway he has lost this option im going to plan B as of today, ive done all i can for this man and he has done nothing.
I have to let go, maybe one day he will regret it but at the moment he has no thought for me his kids or anyone but himself.<p>If this is what OW has turned him into then part of me thinks she is welcome.
I just wonder how long it will be before one of them cheats on the other, as they both have a few A's behind them.<p>Sorry for going on but im devastated by all this and its breaking my heart, but i cant take it anymore im done.
Liz

Lizzle,<p>Sorry to hear you are hurting. I think you are right about the plan B. You are done plan A'ing, just don't think it's over yet. See what plan B brings. Have you tried it before? If not you have a good chance making it very effective. And most of all, it will bring some peace for you as painful as it is to start with.
After 3 months of plan B for me, I am feeling much stronger and more confident. H has seen the changes and is starting to show signs of coming around, very slowly but it's there.I haven't heard the I love you's for 1,5 years, couple of txtmessages in last Aug/Oct signed Luv, hugs&kisses, that's all.
I too filled H's SF needs for over a year while he was still involved with OW. Made me wonder too about his "love" for her.I had enough of that. Now H is trying to find out if I have been sleeping with anyone else... I'll keep him quessing.<p>Stay strong Lizzle , he will see the changes and you will feel wonderful. His loss.Hold on to the 2 year mark, I do, we'll see if things start to truly crumble in the WS's fantasy world. I think it takes longer for a reality to set it in, while they are not living with the OP's.

Take care

Hi Bears in the forest thanx for your reply, no i havent gone to plan b before now.
I see we are on the same timeline except you have been apart longer.<p>Dont know about you but it feels like this has been going on forever.
Sorry dont know your story is your H still seeing OW??<p>Im glad to hear plan b has made you happier, i hope it helps me to
Take care.
Liz

<<<<Lizzle>>>>
I'm so sorry hon. No one should have to deal with this, and yet look at how many of us are!! You have fought the good fight, honey. If you are strong enough, then I agree, it's definitely Plan B time. Make sure you arrange everything beforehand (a go between to help you facilitate visitation/support from your H) so you will not have to break down and call him. As of Sunday, my H and I are only leaving voicemails if we have to communicate. Up until that point, he'd said he wants to talk to me, continue to be friends, well, you know the drill. He and I also had SF twice in the last 2 weeks. I think it was his way of hanging on before I left. You are so strong to have gone through so many months of this. You can DO IT!! Start taking care of you and stop worrying about what he's going to do. We will all be here to support you.<p>Father, please give Lizzle the strength she needs to take this next step for her survival. Help her to focus on you. And father, if it is your will, please turn Lizzle's H's heart back to where it belongs; his wife and children. Father, give her the peace and contentment she needs, meet her where she is today. I ask all of these things in Jesus' precious name,
AMEN<p>PEACE to you Lizzle,<p>MOM

Hi MoM thankyou so much for your prayer, it is so kind of you to post to me.
I know how hard the last few days have been for you.
Hope you have settled into your new home and are feeling a little happier.
Take care.
Liz