I've formed the opinion that my wife is incapable of reason at the moment. I have been told that one Sunday, when they met face to face, He phoned her 4 times and texted her 20 times( with reciprocal traffic, presumably ). It is like a childish infatuation but they are adults. I believe she is lying to everyone about details where they would advise a different path. Can anyone who has experience of such an affair tell me what happens after the marital separations and the wayward parties getting together. Does it last or wither and die? While the A is going on can the infatuated parties appreciate anything else?<p>[ February 06, 2002: Message edited by: Paul Bradley ]<p>[ February 06, 2002: Message edited by: Paul Bradley ]</p>

It gets a lot better for us, bs, as reality sets in, hopefully... wELL, infatuation always wears off! I am sorry you are dealing with the beginning of this, it has been 4 months, and the affair is coming to an end for my H, almost 5 months... it has been a nightmare.. read saa, and be prepared if you want to save your M, you are all the M has got right now... You can do it, just pray, start taking care of yourself and plan a. GOod luck, I am sorry this has happened to you, HONEY

Paul,<p>The good news, as honey said, is that infatuation ALWAYS wears off. There's concrete evidence that infatuation lasts between 6 and 24 months. It's no coincidence that almost all affairs die within this same timeframe, once exposed to the light of day.<p>But 6 to 24 months is a long time - it's been 5 months for me so far, and it feels like 5 years. If you really want your wife back, settle in for the long haul. Let's not set false expectations here. You'll need to IGNORE her adolescent behavior during this early "mushy glow" period.<p>What I've noticed personally is that my W was very beligerant, angry and said hurtful things for about the first 3 months, during which the A was clearly strong. Month 4 was a bit better - she stopped hammering me so hard - mostly because I've tried very, very hard to give her no reasons to. (I find that simply agreeing with her, no matter how "foggy" the statement, takes the wind out of her negativity.) Month 5 was even a bit better, as I think her and OM are starting to come to terms with things - that he isn't Prince Charming after all, and my W isn't exactly the easy prey OM expected.<p>Now I'm into month 6. Still in Plan A. But now I have a bit more confidence that the A is getting sick. And I've been working on me, and that's been a very good thing!<p>Good luck, stay strong.

Can't agree more with those replies.<p>It's frustrating to see them behaving like highschoolers, but you need to do whatever it takes to not focus on their behavior and focus on yourself - Plan A.<p>As long as there is no talk of divorce, I'd keep Plan Aing. Infatuations do wear off. And I know moving in with the OP seems tragic, reality can set in alot faster if they have to experience the day to day very unromantic functions of daily life.<p>It's scary because you don't think they'll come back - but remember, you have not control over their actions, you only have control over yourself. <p>Read SAA again to reassure you and hang in there! K