I want to thank you for suggesting the Emily ??? books about Split-Self affairs. It has been a huge help to me. I told my WH about you and how you and your H were involved in the same type of problems. He seemed curious. He asked me how things were working out for you guys now that you're back together, and how long it's been. <p>I'm wondering if you could fill me in on how it was and is for you. My WH is wanting to come home but is having some reservations and fears.
(Me too)<p>Thankyou again.
Connie

Hi there Maezy- so glad to hear your H is thinking about coming home. I do love Emily Brown's great books - I thought my H was in an exit affair till I read her stuff and saw it wasnt really his wanting out all together thank goodness.I would be glad to answer any questions you and your H have. Our d-day was last Valentines day so almost a year since H confessed. The first 6 months after that were really rough- he would end the A- then get weak and contact OW again. She kept insisting he file for divorce on me and told him our marriage was hopeless which he began to believe over time. Then after he filed for D on me OW convinced him so much damage had been done things would NEVER get better. It took several months AFTER H ended ALL contact with OW before he even began to believe improvement was possible. We have been in therapy since April and are now switching to a Christian counselor in 2 wks for a fresh approach. We now have more understanding of what our problems are exactly but fixing them takes time. It is 2 steps forward one step back many times. We are trying though and our intimate life came back great after 7 mo of NO intimacy at all. H needed help from our counselor to get the courage to finally end the A once and for all. Then he didnt know if he wanted to be married for about 2 mo after that.He was very very confused and scared about working on our marriage. He went to counseling but would just sit there. He finally began to come around after the emotional tie to OW began to wear off. Its been a long road but well worth it. lifeismessy married 15 yrs and 3 kids

So glad you're still around to answer my questions. WH and I sat down together to read from the Emily Brown book I have here. He suggested we read some more tommorrow. He still lives with OW but yesterday he brought his golf clubs home! It's a start!He feels obligated to her!!!!!But he says he'll feel relieved when it's all finally over. He also says he doesn't think he'll miss her but I'm not so sure.
Thanks for reminding me that it's not all smooth sailing ahead.