Well I have spent the last hour reading over someone of the other letters ect, I have found that I am not the only one having these same problems, so in one sence I feel a little better, but I still am not sure what to do with my situation.
I have been with my husband for a little over 6 years, we had started out as co-workers and eventually became friends, this lasted for approx. 10 months and than we discussed the idea of getting together as a couple, we were both still married to other people at the time, so to make a long story short, we eventually divorced these other people and here we are now, things have been very difficult at times, trying to contend with each others children, and ex spouses and I quess you could say life in general.
My question and problem now is, I`m not sure what to do or where to start rebuilding what we had at the beginning, we no longer work together, but both have full time jobs, mine is shift work, so there are times during the month that we don`t see very much of each other, so the times that we do have together I find myself getting very angry and disappointed, not because we have some time to be together but because, he is more interested in other things and does`nt seem to notice I am here, most days I feel more like the hired help than his wife, lately his life seems to revolve around his work, his dog and the tv, our sex life, used to be plain old amazing, now it has become very infrequent, with very little passion and I feel as though he sees this as more of a job of his to do than actually enjoying our time together, His excuse for this when I ask him is that he is tired, I can understand that, but don`t believe it all the time, he always seems to have time and energy to get up early in the morning and head off to the coffee shop to sit and visit or always has time for anyone else that might require some time and attention from him.
Last friday we had a big blow up, I had been working nights and I had suggested take out for supper that night as neathier one of the kids were going to be home and it would give me a couple of extra hours to sleep in the afternoon, well instead of coming home, he decided to spend time with his brother and another man, having a few drinks and talking, he came home and hour before I was to head off to work, so I was very mad and upset when he came in the door, there was a fair bit of yelling and name calling ect., and than when I was ready to leave for work, I made the comment that there will come a day when all he will have to come home to is a picture of me I had given him for his bday, he commented that it would be the first thing he would throw out after I was gone, so I took the picture, set it on the table and broke it with a hammer, as a result of this, some little pieces of glass flew and hit him in the side, so he called the police and tried to have me charged with assault, the end of this story is thew police suggested he go somewhere else for the night and "sleep it off" now he is not speaking to me or even acknowleging that I am here, so my question is, how can I get us talking again and trying to rebuild what we used to have, I don`t want to call a quits to my marriage

Darlene,
This might sound critical I don't mean it so. It sounds like your M started as an A, so that is definately tough. Did you both identify and/or correct the problems that cause the end of your previous marriages to prevent them from entering into your new one?<p>How much of the 6 years were you happy, did things just start turning bad? <p>-HI

Dear Hanging in
Well, our entire 6 years together have been filled with alot of ups and downs, I think alot of unresolved issues, things were really good for us until Hubby`s exwife moved into town . I know there is still alot of hurt feelings and resentment that he has never dealt with, I don`t feel as though I have any with my ex, but I know present Hubby resents my ex, for reasons that may be called for, like lack of child support, I allow him to see the kids when ever he wants, that sort of . But I still don`t know what or which direction to go next,

I would definately seek counseling. It sounds like your relationship started as an EA. This is a learned behavior/habit does not change without effort. My WW had a PA with me when she was dating someone else in college. She eventually ended that relationship and we got married. Less than a year later, she was having another PA.<p>We are now both in counseling.<p>I think you both would benefit from professional help.

Longing, I would definately agree that counselling would definately be in order, but what does one do to make the other see that we are in need of somesort of help.H is quite content , as long as he has a house, tv, couch and bed to come home to at night, I need to know what to do right now, to get us communicating again,