I take everyday as they come. I am not pressuring or making any LB'ers towards my wife (WS). I am not getting my hopes up but I have seen some small signs in my wife in the past two weeks. At times she is nice and even seems to be concerned with what she is doing now and how that affect or makes me feel. For example she is going away this weekend to visit two of her girlfriends. She isn't going to stop going because of me but she did ask me how I felt about it. This morning she asked me what am I going to do all weekend. I know this isn't much but this is something. She has been so cold towards me these past few months. Also she made an attempt on Sunday to meet up with a few of my friends. I am not saying our relationship is all better but I thought this is some type of a baby step. My wife also has cut back on the amount of time she has been spending with her partying friends. I haven't told her not to go she has choosen to not go on her own.
But here is the part that sort of kicked me in the butt. Last night she asked me how my counseling session went. I told her I would feel a lot better if I knew we were both in counseling together and it was working on our relationship. I know this might of been some relationship pressure talk but I was honest and told her how I felt about it. I only said that and then I stopped about the relationship talk. My wife came back and said well we both want opposite things and that is why she isn't there in counseling with me. I want a relationship and she doesn't. I will admit this sort of made me upset (more like a little depressed) because I was seeing small signs in her and then she says this. How do I take this? Fog talk, reality talk, etc..?
The counselor told me that my wife is scared because she is thinking I want all the things back the old way. My wife doesn't want things back to the old way. My wife says she has changed. All I want is a relationship with my wife. So am I getting myself down for nothing? Do I sort of ignore what my wife said about her wanting the opposite of what I want? Am I reading into the small signs too much? I need some guidance. Sometimes I think since the counselor is seeing us both seperately that she is trying to get me use to the idea that my wife might walk away. The counselor says we have a 50/50 chance of this working out. In some way I am disappointed in the counselor for saying that but in another way maybe she is being realistic with me. Also the counselor did tell me my wife isn't over the other man yet.
Any advice? I want feedback from those who are in this situation or have been there...
Thanks again....